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Accept My Demands
Contributed by
April90
on
Wednesday, 11th March 2009 @ 02:04:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
SongLyrics
|
These months were a battle
Of love and my pride,
Pride chose to surrender,
But I didn't mind.
I sang my own ballad
Along to your chords,
You failed as my shield,
I kept being your sword.
You asked for the world -
I could give you much more.
True life was somewhere
Behind the locked door.
Through all your nightmares
I kept holding your hand.
I drained my own sea
For your castle of sand.
Love made me its slave -
It's my porcelain strength.
Now beg for forgiveness,
Accept my demands!
You're charming, unique,
And your look is brand-new.
Your face in the mirror
Is one love for you.
One slut cost you more
Than the tears I shed,
And seeing you two
Made me feel just regret.
Now beg for forgiveness,
Feel guilty and pray!
Remember those months
And the last summer day.
I tried to be perfect,
I was at my best,
You turned all my life
To a terrible mess!
Love made me its slave -
It's my porcelain strength.
Now beg for forgiveness,
Accept my demands!
Accept my demands!
Copyright ©
April90
... [
2009-03-11 14:04:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Accept My Demands
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ess3nc3 on
Wednesday, 11th March 2009 @ 02:22:22 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Ahh.. A very melancholic piece. A woman in a troubled relationship with a man who blatantly neglects the love and care she has for him. Excellent rhyming. The fluidity of the poem was absolutely flawless. I would like to add one small suggestion though and perhaps instead of:
"You failed as my shield,
I kept being your sword."
Maybe consider this:
"You failed as my shield,
I remained as your sword."
Excellent work regardless.
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Re: Accept My Demands
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 11th March 2009 @ 04:21:12 PM AEST
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a very nice piece. it flowed along with such elegance and eloquence. you've got a great writing style.
-phil |
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Re: Accept My Demands
(User Rating: 1 )
by simsalabim on
Thursday, 12th March 2009 @ 01:34:31 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I love sluts...they make no demands.... |
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