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the swedish chef
Contributed by
simsalabim
on
Wednesday, 11th March 2009 @ 01:38:29 AM in AEST
Topic:
SpecialOccassion
|
count
the creases
in my smile
count
the wipes
off my
burn
your eyes
on something
that is nothing
more
than you ever
had
pass the ketchup
Copyright ©
simsalabim
... [
2009-03-11 01:38:29]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: the swedish chef
(User Rating: 1 )
by dark_poet on
Wednesday, 11th March 2009 @ 09:39:39 AM AEST
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a Message)
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next time dont write as much, it is too long to read. i did not enjoy this piece of writing, one bit. in this piece all you had was structure with bad meaning.
i would advise you to change your writing pattern. have you thought about a haiku, freeverse and so on. i want to be nice about this and if you trying, please try harder. |
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Re: the swedish chef
(User Rating: 1 )
by simsalabim on
Wednesday, 11th March 2009 @ 11:59:57 PM AEST
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| authors note....apparently non functioning. |
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Re: the swedish chef
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 12th March 2009 @ 02:54:49 PM AEST
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| There is an eccentricity that interests me about this piece. I will be curious to see what your writing grows into. |
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Re: the swedish chef
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Friday, 13th March 2009 @ 12:11:15 AM AEST
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Would you like tater tots or fries with that?
Don't change a thing friend when your pen glides across the page it dances.
You have a very thought provoking style of writing.
Makes you scrath your head then say huuuuummmmmmmmmm.
That's a very good thing. You grab the reader by the seat of the pants and we listen.
huggs, smiles, blessings,
emy |
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Re: the swedish chef
(User Rating: 1 )
by simsalabim on
Friday, 13th March 2009 @ 11:11:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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"Makes you scrath your head"
thanks so much....no....i'm glad you enjoyed that one... |
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