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At about 3:50am (My Pink Lollypop)
Contributed by
endeformetrance
on
Monday, 24th March 2003 @ 08:05:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
My pink lollypop lies shattered in the gutter,
Broken fragments of beauty,
The sugar already beginning to dissolve into a puddle
At about 3:50am.
My teeth ache as the sweetness takes hold,
Eroding my molars far more efficiently
Than the slow lapping motion
Of water on limestone
Like the caves in cheddar
That we never got to see.
The pink lollypop fell from my mouth,
And was destroyed on the hard surface of the road
Where it was left discarded and nearly eliminated.
Dashed upon the rocks like the fish in Padstow,
It stares glumly upwards
In a million pieces.
The pink lollypop is now almost completely void.
Yet still I can taste it.
Still my palate feels sticky,
Still my tongue is coated in sucrose.
You jumped from my mouth, my pink lollypop.
I don’t want to taste you forever.
Copyright ©
endeformetrance
... [
2003-03-24 20:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: At about 3:50am (My Pink Lollypop)
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Tuesday, 25th March 2003 @ 03:14:54 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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LOL! This is great! Tee hee... blessed be,
~ Moonlit Angel :D |
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Re: At about 3:50am (My Pink Lollypop)
(User Rating: 1 )
by tease_whizz on
Wednesday, 26th March 2003 @ 04:47:33 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wow, another classic! this is cute and made me smile but theres a great level of metaphor to it too. lines like 'Broken fragments of beauty' and 'i don't want to taste you forever' are tinged with sadness and hint at something a bit more than a lollypop - hence the lost love topic i guess.
great write, keep them coming! Kate x |
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Re: At about 3:50am (My Pink Lollypop)
(User Rating: 0 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 27th April 2003 @ 09:14:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Well Max, I have to say I felt inclined to this poem because of its girly title, but it is actually rather a petite masterpiece. How something of this title can contain a line that refers to Padstow within it is completely beyond me, but it works. *claps*.
Once again you have avoided all the cliches, how the hell do you do it? |
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