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Nine
Contributed by
skywings
on
Tuesday, 10th March 2009 @ 02:56:29 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
I fell asleep one night,
Drowsy from your kiss
And dreamed in the warm honey
Of our sheets.
I opened my eyes one day,
By a dented pillow
With my amber soul pooling
At its depth.
I lay in the empty cold,
Warmed it with my tears
That could not fill the hollow
'Neath their feet.
I woke to your hazy voice,
A sound now a stranger
And lay my head down again,
Drowsy from your kiss.
Copyright ©
skywings
... [
2009-03-10 02:56:29]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Nine
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Tuesday, 10th March 2009 @ 03:15:00 AM AEST
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a Message)
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you write a poem with some clarity of thought and flow of feeling or emotion.
Here I am unable to make out any substance. I am not to discourage you..
Come with some good effort.Best of luck. venkat |
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Re: Nine
(User Rating: 1 )
by simsalabim on
Tuesday, 10th March 2009 @ 03:25:12 AM AEST
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| whah.....deeeeeeep#! |
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Re: Nine
(User Rating: 1 )
by jnep on
Tuesday, 10th March 2009 @ 08:02:11 AM AEST
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| nice poem.. :) love the realism here.. like real life experience. :D goodjob! welcome to your poetry btw. |
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Re: Nine
(User Rating: 1 )
by elle on
Friday, 4th June 2010 @ 02:06:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Skywings. . . really love that name. . .
I really love this poem, as well. The mystic is kindle but not broken open. The beginning & ending produce the effect of a never-ending cycle. . . like some phoenix awareness of your love & lover. . . rising from the ashes of dreams but forever distant from your waking truth. I think this is very well done. My only questioning is the title. . . perhaps it holds some symbolic meaning that the reader might miss. A pleasure~ elle :) |
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