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To be as she
Contributed by
shelby
on
Sunday, 8th March 2009 @ 03:14:24 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
It is a night of ethereal pain, a song of sorrow,
Rain drowns the day, the wanting
wakens.
Curling wisps of death shrouds her gaunt form,
an impatient dread.
Her inky black hair cascades over
fragile milk-white shoulders, and her
full scarlet lips part slightly, to taste the
blood streaming from the
pale flesh beneath
her.
Now a night of shared vitality,
I awaken.
Copyright ©
shelby
... [
2009-03-08 03:14:24]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: To be as she
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 8th March 2009 @ 04:38:44 AM AEST
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a Message)
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OMG, Michelle, I love these kinds of poems. Especially when they're done well and this one is done soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo well.
More, more, more, more, more, more. |
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Re: To be as she
(User Rating: 1 )
by Recyclebin on
Sunday, 8th March 2009 @ 05:40:35 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Michelle this was very very good.
~bin~ |
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Re: To be as she
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 8th March 2009 @ 12:00:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Michelle, my love, this was SO damn wonderful. There was an eeriness to it, but
more of an anticipation as to WHAT HAPPENS NEXT??!!! Damn girl! You have such a
talent for this genre. I am more than impressed and in a state of "edge of your seat"
kind of expectancy. As Tim said, "more please"
DAMN! Fine writing, my dear poet. Damn fine!
*huge hugs*
~ Breezy
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Re: To be as she
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 8th March 2009 @ 03:55:58 PM AEST
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how beautifully dark. the imagery in this one was quite something, it took the breath away.
-phil |
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Re: To be as she
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 8th March 2009 @ 11:51:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I can't say I luv this as it's so sad and heart wrenching to me. Your writing is great as always so there's nothing wrong with your writing.
Hey girl, I'm always here for you.
Big huggs, luv, blessings,
emy |
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Re: To be as she
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 9th March 2009 @ 11:00:21 AM AEST
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I love the words..."the wanting wakens"
Very descriptive, fills one with anticipation! |
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Re: To be as she
(User Rating: 1 )
by 3660Days on
Wednesday, 8th April 2009 @ 08:00:48 PM AEST
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This is quite good. The imagery is quite vivid, especially the contrast with black hair, milk-white shoulders, scarlett lips...
WELL DONE! |
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