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Over-Heard Conversations at Parties
Contributed by
lnnie
on
Saturday, 7th March 2009 @ 11:20:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
I not really fat' he said
'I am anorexic,
just not very good at it.'
'I can't keep a girl friend
I am too, uh, big down there
they say it hurts.'
'I didn't say I loved you
I said I often think of you.
That's what I said.'
'I have to give up drugs
I am hallucinating
the girl of my dreams.'
So I told her it was ok
she could sleep with him
but she would have to pay
for that pair of shoes
we saw at Nordstrum's.'
'So my Dad says
All I am asking for
is a Some Sex Marriage.'
So he says he is not gay
he just likes men.
I thew up on him
and he was so sweet
he wiped it off
and I tipped him a dollar.
And then I found out
that the tattoo
he put on my butt
was his ex-girl friend.
Girl, he is ugly
no way around the facts
unless you saying
he is packing.
She stood there
and let all the men
get a good look
at her cleavage.
How can you compete
with that?
I don't really read books
and stuff like that
takes too long.
I told him he never
listens to me
and he said
'What? '
I don't know,
the honey moon
was a disaster
we made love
for only about five hours
and he started complaining
about his back.
What's your name again?
You got a girlfriend?
Yes, she said.
So he heard us making love
on the answering machine
the thing was on room monitor.
I told him the baby was his.
Couldn't sleep at all last night
Vibrator ran out of batteries.
So he said
'You are bleeding
is that normal?
'Normal' I said
Bleeding?
And then I passed out.
Well he is very tall,
got big feet,
a big nose.
and bedroom eyes
All the things I need right now.
I had to set him free.
Hard to be with a man
prettier than you.
I hate these parties
and the food is bad.
Don't know why I come.
Copyright ©
lnnie
... [
2009-03-07 23:20:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Over-Heard Conversations at Parties
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 8th March 2009 @ 12:39:14 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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You really had me going till I reread the title.
Great job.
Huggs, smiles, blessings,
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Re: Over-Heard Conversations at Parties
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Monday, 9th March 2009 @ 05:53:50 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Cracking good voy-ear-ism ( yes its copyrighted so you can't use it). What people say is bizarre,shallow, self-centred, selfish and obtuse, but I guess you laugh so you don't scream.
my favourites - the bad anorexic and the desperate dad. Hilarious!
Spike
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