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You Hate Me; I Love You
Contributed by
crookedpoet09
on
Monday, 9th February 2009 @ 01:59:35 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
I start to say I'm sorry for your pain
I'm afraid I've not learnt my lesson today
I sing through tears and this shame
Is too much for my heart is drained
For years I've spent loving you
You can never forgive the things I do
My soul is broken, but you knew
I would come back to try and prove
My heart beats slowly but it beats
As I walk down these lonely streets
The pain, the ache, it won't retreat
You know my letters are yours to keep
These last three years have been so tough
You made out I was never enough
My nights were hard and the days were rough
I wasted that thing we call love
I end this now to finally say
I'm fixing the damage that I made
With a picture in my hand everyday
I look at you and I feel safe
I hope one day we meet again
I hope it'll be like back then
For all the days we don't spend
I can't put my heart back together again
Copyright ©
crookedpoet09
... [
2009-02-09 13:59:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: You Hate Me; I Love You
(User Rating: 1 )
by ek_da_poet on
Monday, 9th February 2009 @ 02:39:07 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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simple and sweet, hateful and forgiving. i reallly enjoyed this write, for your first you rhymed well.
as long as you continue to write, you will develope your own uniqueness in writing your pieces. if you ever need assistance you can always send me a message and i am always willling to help. |
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Re: You Hate Me; I Love You
(User Rating: 1 )
by navydocny on
Monday, 9th February 2009 @ 04:40:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Great job!
Ding-did you mean tough in the first line of stanza # 4?
I like your structure and flow. Its best to keep it simple and as you gain confidence, open up and try new things.
I look forward to reading more..
Steve |
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