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awake..

Contributed by wazarov on Sunday, 23rd March 2003 @ 03:45:00 PM in AEST
Topic: oops



awake
i left my soul by the lake
i cried for her sake
but there was nothing to give or to take
all the truth was fake
with everything that i forsake
there is no difference that i can make
but my voice surely will shake you awake
and i shall forgive what you will take
because deadly is the bite of your snake




Copyright © wazarov ... [ 2003-03-23 15:45:00]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: awake.. (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 24th March 2003 @ 07:31:09 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
I am sorry to be negative but I find it really hard to read poems where the lines ALL end with the same rhyming sound.

The poem is really good but I found myself getting lost.

sleepless_siren


Re: awake.. (User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on Monday, 24th March 2003 @ 12:52:01 PM AEST
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Wow great job! Never realized how many words end in "ake"... seems to me that would be difficult to do. Kudos! Blessed be,

~ Moonlit Angel




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