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Pain
Contributed by
springchic1979
on
Sunday, 23rd March 2003 @ 03:05:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
Brassy odor
Metallic taste
Warms my flesh
Stains my face.
Pouring raindrops
Clouded grey eyes
Liquid fire
Strength disguised.
Rivers unite
Blood touches tear
Crimson red
Crystal clear.
Mixing the two
Red dye and salt
Gives more force
Adds more fault.
Twin colors bleed
Stinging my face.
Salted wounds.
Pain displaced.
Yvonne Denise Springer
Copyright ©2002 Yvonne Denise Springer
Copyright ©
springchic1979
... [
2003-03-23 03:05:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by hazelnut on
Sunday, 23rd March 2003 @ 04:16:50 AM AEST
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| all very abstract to me..but i like the rhymes |
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 23rd March 2003 @ 07:10:58 PM AEST
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| deep....so much in this, it's a wonderful write i will come back to again, hugs nessa |
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by springchic1979 on
Sunday, 23rd March 2003 @ 07:13:59 PM AEST
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I know this poem is even more cryptic then usual. LOL
Quatrain 1 - describes blood that is from a facial wound...the smell of the blood, the taste of it, the warmth of it as it runs down the face...and the trail it leaves behind.
Quatrain 2 - describes tears/crying. Tears pouring down from cloudy eyes. They burn like liquid fire...disguising strength.
Quatrain 3 - describes the blood and tears mixing as they stream down my face.
Quatrain 4 - (if you ever use dye for anything it tells you to add salt to the mixture to strengthen the solution)
so the combination of both blood (red dye) and tears (salt) strengthens the overall effect.
Quatrain 5 - "twin colors" (not in appearance as such...but by the painful feelings they inflict)
"Salted wounds.
Pain displaced."
Means the physical wounds may be excruciating but the pain is displaced...implying the pain hurts more emotionally then physically.
Thanks for reading hazelnut :)
Yvonne |
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by springchic1979 on
Sunday, 23rd March 2003 @ 07:41:52 PM AEST
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Awww...Thank you Nessa.
*hugs*
Yvonne |
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by wolfflow on
Tuesday, 25th March 2003 @ 03:45:52 PM AEST
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| well hey yvonne i'm glad you got around to explaining this one before i got around to reading it, an interesting poem now that i understand it |
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by springchic1979 on
Tuesday, 25th March 2003 @ 11:32:20 PM AEST
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Glad it helped Wolfflow. If you ever get stuck on one of my poems...just let me know. :)
Yvonne |
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by lilch4ever on
Saturday, 5th April 2003 @ 07:55:24 PM AEST
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| I like this very deep. I loved way you described your pain. I can feel your pain. |
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wrybod on
Tuesday, 15th April 2003 @ 01:49:12 AM AEST
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Got to go away and think
about what I've just discovered
yours is a well delicious to drink
will come back when I've recovered
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by springchic1979 on
Tuesday, 15th April 2003 @ 01:03:22 PM AEST
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Thank you very much for your compliment lilch4ever. :)
Yvonne |
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Re: Pain
(User Rating: 1 )
by springchic1979 on
Tuesday, 15th April 2003 @ 01:05:09 PM AEST
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Aww what a sweet little rhyme. Thank you very much Wrybod, I am so glad you liked it! :)
Yvonne |
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