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Ocober
Contributed by
spanky
on
Tuesday, 13th January 2009 @ 09:33:52 AM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
|
I stopped and had some coffee
on a cool October morning
at the place I always love to go-
the place with all the windows.
And leaves of each October color
blew about; some here...some there-
while scarecrows, gathered all in circles,
talked of birds, and fields...and snow.
Inside, I sadly pondered
how your love for me had faded.
Like the mist of autumn mornings,
I just turned...and you were gone.
And the broken-hearted scarecrows,
who had gathered all in circles,
offered words of consolation
through their sadness and their tears.
I left and never once looked back
that sad October morning
at the place "we" dearly loved to go-
now sadly...to remember.
Copyright ©
spanky
... [
2009-01-13 09:33:52]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Ocober
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lilymaemax on
Tuesday, 13th January 2009 @ 10:40:39 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I have read your comments to many of the poets and find them insulting to say the least as people are expressing themselves in many different forms.Some of your comments are particularly hypocritical especially as you cannot spell OCTOBER.!(title of poem)Take the rafter from your eye before you point out the straw in your fellowmans. |
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Re: Ocober
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lilymaemax on
Tuesday, 13th January 2009 @ 10:49:24 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| p.s seeing as you have been so pedantic about other poets I'd like to point out a few errors as you did to a young girls poem a short while ago.4th stanza scarecrows don't have hearts ,they cannot gather in circles as they are inanimate , they cannot offer words of consolation because they dont have mouths to speak with and they cannot shed tears as they do not possess tear ducts.SHAME. |
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Re: Ocober
(User Rating: 1 )
by Incognito_Bombastus on
Tuesday, 13th January 2009 @ 08:09:56 PM AEST
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a Message)
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a well designed piece, best of yours I've read. It falls about a foot short and in my opinion would make a piece of finest writing with a harsh re edit and some honeing of phrase.
Thank You I.B. |
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