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In the Dark of the Night
Contributed by
Loende
on
Thursday, 8th January 2009 @ 07:41:19 PM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
In the dark of the night, in the depth of my dread,
I still hear those words echoing inside my head.
The ones that you told me, without even blinking,
So careless and heartless, they now have me sinking.
To really love fully it takes a kind of trust.
That they will not crush you and squeeze your soul to dust.
You have to be willing to leave yourself open,
And hope that your lover will cherish this token.
It took me forever, to trust like that again,
And I felt so lucky to fall for my best friend.
I thought I was special, I thought you really cared,
So I leaped off the edge even though I was scared.
Now that I’m so crippled, so sad and so broken,
I honestly regret this truth that was spoken.
You’re not the man I loved, I don’t know who you are,
But I can tell you this much, you’ve finally lost my heart.
Copyright ©
Loende
... [
2009-01-08 19:41:19]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: In the Dark of the Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Incognito_Bombastus on
Thursday, 8th January 2009 @ 10:37:30 PM AEST
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superbly controlled for such emotive content, a fine write. Empathy & love to you, may your tomorrows lessen the despairs of this day.
Thank You I.B. |
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Re: In the Dark of the Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by gmcse8 on
Friday, 9th January 2009 @ 09:41:56 AM AEST
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| My goodness, this was wonderful, not the emotion of course, but the poem. I believe the definition of a poem is to tell a tale with the fewest words possible, and your poem does that wonderfully. The sturcture is nice and the pacing makes it flow so easily when one reads it. I especially liked the first two lines in the first stanza, they are the very definition of poetry. Also I thought the two middle stanzas were the best of the poem. I found myself reading them several times. It is a sad narrative, but a good poem. |
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Re: In the Dark of the Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 9th January 2009 @ 07:02:14 PM AEST
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quite amazing. it did flow very well to say it contained so much passion. i particularly enjoyed the last stanza, it really hit home. great work.
-phil |
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Re: In the Dark of the Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 9th January 2009 @ 09:07:44 PM AEST
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Holy censored, Dawn!!!! This is damn heart wrenching. The emotion you have captured in this really goes straight to the heart! You've done great and thank you for sharing a piece of your heart with the rest of us. Takes courage. I've been there...sure many of us have gone through similar experiences. I am sorry that you have to.
You've done a great job here. Life sucks at times but it sure can spawn some great poetry.
Tim
(who can so relate to this write) |
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Re: In the Dark of the Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Saturday, 24th January 2009 @ 06:02:31 PM AEST
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A fine example of the poetic craft.Full of emotion with just the right flow throughout .
The last stanza summed it up perfectly.
Good work
Steve |
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Re: In the Dark of the Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by crow6279 on
Tuesday, 24th February 2009 @ 06:30:50 PM AEST
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| Very nice write. Reminds me of some of the things I am going through again. Thanks for sharing with us. |
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Re: In the Dark of the Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Recyclebin on
Sunday, 8th March 2009 @ 11:34:06 AM AEST
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loende I'm so glad I decided to look into some of ur poetry, this was well worth it.
The emotions from this piece was written with ink of the soul.
~Bin~ |
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Re: In the Dark of the Night
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 2nd September 2009 @ 10:01:10 AM AEST
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Sweetie, this is soul-ripping! So completely painful. You have faced many demons in
this and in your attempt to exercise them have reached a plateau of words that whip
in the wind of conviction. There is pain here, yes, but I also see strength. I see bravery.
I see resolution. I see beauty. You are one of the most generous and plainly talented
woman I've ever met. If karma does in fact, exist, you are in for good fortune of
titanic proportion! (Didn't mean to make that rhyme :P)
Wonderful, wonderful work here hun. I know it must have been hard to write.
~ Breezy
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