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within this place

Contributed by elle on Wednesday, 7th January 2009 @ 06:23:42 PM in AEST
Topic: EmotionalPoetry



I sigh in whispers of this place
which is my heart. . .
in need of peace.
I soar like a thousand angels
above the memories,
now mine to keep.
& while alone
I miss the nearness of you,
indefinitely. . .
what is this empty place?
what thorn?
it is my heart
after you are gone.
I float like ten thousand petals
with bittersweet softness
that only reminds me of your touch.
within this fragile place. . .
I cannot bear the thought of us
& so sweetheart
I flee a thousand echoes
of love shaped words
their meaning lost behind the mask.
what ill, forgotten place?
the saddest place I've ever been. . .
I feel I"ve cried ten thousand tears.
I wade through feelings
full of fear
until I simply cannot breath.
oh, shard & splinter,
prick & sting. . .




Copyright © elle ... [ 2009-01-07 18:23:42]
(Date/Time posted on site)





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Re: within this place (User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on Wednesday, 7th January 2009 @ 06:48:56 PM AEST
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Oh Elle,
you melted my heart onto this screen while reading this. Divine write, flow and beauty rise to the highest of Heavens in this write. Thanks for sharing this.

Hugs
Michelle


Re: within this place (User Rating: 1 )
by Crow on Wednesday, 7th January 2009 @ 08:03:02 PM AEST
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I want to thank you for stopping by and reading me, not for the reading, but because it brought me here to read this. "outstanding. Vincent


Re: within this place (User Rating: 1 )
by FRANCO on Wednesday, 7th January 2009 @ 10:36:18 PM AEST
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Dear friend, it's a very touching work of art, every word is very intense and penetrating. I really enjoyed reading it.
Thanks for sharing.

Regards,
FRANCO


Re: within this place (User Rating: 1 )
by Butterflyperfect on Thursday, 8th January 2009 @ 12:30:48 AM AEST
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I loved reading this. It is so wonderful and the words just all make sense inside my head. Very Nice!!

Take Care,
~Butterfly


Re: within this place (User Rating: 1 )
by gmcse8 on Thursday, 8th January 2009 @ 08:24:49 AM AEST
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What a wonderful poem. I read it through several times, and enjoyed it more each time. Actually the first line grabbed me the instant I read it. What a terrific line...... so perfect. I almost sighed myself as I read it. I also liked the last two lines very much, they seemed to really put a punctuation mark to the poem. My favorites though were the question and answer, " What thorn? It is my heart." I thought that was special. I did have a question however. Since I am very new at this I get curious why someone does something one way or another. Did you have a reason for not using the same number repetively? you went back and forth between a thousand and ten thousand a few times. I was just wondering if you thought about just using one number all the way through like a metronome ticking, or repetitive theme? Wonderful imagery, thanks. I will be reading more of your stuff.

Bob Jordan


Re: within this place (User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on Friday, 9th January 2009 @ 04:30:57 PM AEST
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Reading this felt like reading a dance of words, beautifully synchronised together in perfect harmony.
Lots of great imagery here.
Well done

Steve


Re: within this place (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Monday, 2nd February 2009 @ 02:23:09 AM AEST
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with bittersweet softness

Is most definitely what you have captured and created here with this one. Definitely, that is it in a nutshell!!!! This is excellent and amazing.


Re: within this place (User Rating: 1 )
by windowguy on Friday, 5th June 2009 @ 02:18:31 PM AEST
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"A thousand echoes of love shaped words." Interesting phrase. Overall, it is quite a powerful write.




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