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Overcast words
Contributed by
Mars
on
Tuesday, 30th December 2008 @ 10:09:37 AM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
Overcast words, smearing my sky.
Plots and their plans, prodding my pride.
Taking a risk. Taking a chance.
Awaiting the rain, I beg for a dance.
Thunder he rolls, throwing his knives.
Only those looking out, won't be in, when it arrives.
Life is a burden, and with all its trouble.
A flimsy glass vile, bursts like a bubble.
The winds pick up, the rain comes down.
From what had been smiles, tears run to a frown.
Tapping on the window. Click! Goes the lock.
The creaking of stairs. Electrical shocks.
The music ran swiftly, winds beat the walls.
Boards went flying, shards of glass, through the halls.
But then it was over, as quick as it came.
In an instant, it was gone. It would never be the same.
Copyright ©
Mars
... [
2008-12-30 10:09:37]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Overcast words
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 30th December 2008 @ 12:09:54 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
you do weather metaphors better than anyone i know lol seriously, this was very good. the imagery was vivivd and it flowed very nicely. the first stanza was spellbinding.
-phil |
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Re: Overcast words
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 10th January 2009 @ 06:26:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Metaphoric finesse and eloquence. Beautifully written yet sorrowful emotion about damage down. Awesome writing.
Thank you for sharing your talent.
Tim |
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