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Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	22-November 15:45:53 AEST

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- This Old Life -

Contributed by 143 on Friday, 26th December 2008 @ 12:03:03 AM in AEST
Topic: Lifepoems

This old life
as the pages shall turn
we log on but to only learn

That what we expected
is not really here
when theres no mail
it brings no cheer

so you think for awhile
in what you should do
as your pondering thoughts
are ever so blue

Some days are ok
but never to be
what I really want
is something that I need

Its not to much
to ask for what I wish
but I guess Im to greedy
it is what it is

Copyright © 143 ... [ 2008-12-26 00:03:03]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: - This Old Life - (User Rating: 1 )
by high_on_duct_tape on Friday, 26th December 2008 @ 12:10:24 AM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

This poem certainly conveys your message. It would benefit from more imagery (or other poetic devices). Also, watch your spelling/grammar throughout (just ask if you want a list of minor errors).

About the subject of the poem, I think it's usually worth maintaining high standards. It sounds like you may too, you're just ambivilant. If that's the case, then don't worry. Standards are not a bad thing.

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