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A Summer Song Remembered
Contributed by
high_on_duct_tape
on
Thursday, 25th December 2008 @ 04:27:04 AM in AEST
Topic:
LoveRemembered
|
A song was playing.
A slow, sweet song.
The singer didn’t seem to know
That it was written for you.
The couple across the train was talking.
The man in front of you looked for truth in his newspaper.
The woman below us was fast asleep.
You were watching me with that look
Only you do justice to.
A thought fell from my mouth.
I watched it as it slipped from your ears down to your smile
And slowed the rhythmic fidgets of your fingers.
For a moment, there were no questions.
There was no pretense.
Nothing was hidden.
Nothing needed to change.
For a moment or two…
_________________
I heard our song last night.
Its soft, melodic build
Its willingness; its eagerness; its passion.
I heard that song last night
And didn’t even start to think of you.
Copyright ©
high_on_duct_tape
... [
2008-12-25 04:27:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Summer Song Remembered
(User Rating: 1 )
by 3660Days on
Tuesday, 30th December 2008 @ 07:20:35 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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That was excellent.
"A thought fell from my mouth" etc. Very abstract and beautiful imagery.
Repetition of the phrase "for a moment"...nice, nice
And the last line..so unexpected it made me shiver. |
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Re: A Summer Song Remembered
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Wednesday, 14th January 2009 @ 12:03:34 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This poem is melodic a beautiful write.
Descriptive too, nice work.
Michelle |
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