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My whirl-wind of thoughts and comfusion! READD!! and comment PLEASE!!
Contributed by
MelanieLovesScott08
on
Thursday, 18th December 2008 @ 10:54:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
I cant comprehend or even comply the things that have happened and i dont know why. I dont know what happened and i feel like im trapped in. Tell me you love me and you need me but baby dont lie and dont decieve me. You made me feel like you were "the one" but now the only thing i feel is like im done. I cant take this pain the only thing i need you to do is explain. My head is in awhirl you shouldnt have done this you know im a good girl. You cant play with my heart anymore its something special that you should have adored. So take your bull***** little boy games and dont come back go find someone else to blame!
Copyright ©
MelanieLovesScott08
... [
2008-12-18 22:54:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My whirl-wind of thoughts and comfusion! READD!! and comment PLEASE!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by navydocny on
Friday, 19th December 2008 @ 12:48:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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My humble opinion is that you were overwrought with emotion when you wrote this. Not a bad thing. The title does it justice. It is very hard to bridle and ride this horse and it surely will not be the only one that you'll have.
I like emotion in all forms of writing. Success in writing comes when you can evoke an emotion or response from the reader. I think that you've done this. My only ding on this is that it may perhaps move a little more smoothly in bullet format but again that may take some of the emotional wind out of its sail.
Indeed, a whirl wind.....
Steve |
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Re: My whirl-wind of thoughts and comfusion! READD!! and comment PLEASE!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Butterflyperfect on
Saturday, 20th December 2008 @ 11:03:46 PM AEST
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emotions....aren't they the best?
I can understand how many thoughts must have been going through your head as you were writing this. I have had moments were I would just grab a piece of paper and write and write and write.... anyway just know whatever bothers you getting it out is always better than holding it in. Take Care!
-Butterfly |
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Re: My whirl-wind of thoughts and comfusion! READD!! and comment PLEASE!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Friday, 9th January 2009 @ 03:37:17 PM AEST
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Well you certainly managed to capture the flurry of thoughts that must have been bombarding your mind at the time, despite as you say, your head being "in a whirl".
Long may your enthausiasm for putting pen to paper continue
Steve |
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