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Walking Away
Contributed by
Teal3545
on
Tuesday, 16th December 2008 @ 08:55:33 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
I see you from a distance
Your memory hits me hard
I build a wall of resistance
You shatter me once more
Why did you have to walk away
You told me you wouldn't break me
You left me with a scar
I still wonder why I whish on a falling star
Pain is your game
But I refuse to feel the same
Le me go
All you say is no
Don't walk away from me
I can't get enough
Show me what you see
I let it all go for you
You give me a grin and spit it all back
Now let me hate you
Your no shining star
You don't even realize who you are
Your desperate for another round
To only see me leave without a sound
i only see what you lack
Now its my turn to never look back
Copyright ©
Teal3545
... [
2008-12-16 20:55:33] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Walking Away
(User Rating: 1 ) by lonely_boy on
Thursday, 18th December 2008 @ 12:37:17 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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good write. i can see the emotion in your words.
for your first poem i thought it was great. the only thing that matters about writing is if you like it. f*ck what others think. it's all about you.
take care |
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Re: Walking Away
(User Rating: 1 ) by Balmain_Tiger on
Thursday, 18th December 2008 @ 05:51:49 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I found this poem to have everything that makes poetry good.
Only criticism perhaps is some lines are too long, or perhaps better choice of words may have helped....
Mostly Though a very good representation of your feelings. I wanted to read it all and see the end, which is always a good sign of a good poem.
Keep going and they will always get better.
And don't despair when you write a dud because we all write duds.
Peter |
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