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All I can see
Contributed by
Voice of the Silent
on
Friday, 12th December 2008 @ 08:15:36 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
All I can see
Is me
laying on the floor motionless
And everyone standing around looking
but doing nothing like they don't notice
I scream for help
But scream as I may scream as I might
I'm invisible as I watch the end of my life
and people watch and don't even care
I wonder like me are they even there
or are they invisible to just there to see
not caring just to watch doing nothing
Still I scream to this day
even though they all eventually faded away
Screaming for help knowing it won't come
I wait for help for someone anyone
but no one listens to me
for no one really ever sees
Copyright ©
Voice of the Silent
... [
2008-12-12 08:15:36]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: All I can see
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mars on
Friday, 12th December 2008 @ 04:09:26 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I noticed how you rhyme some lines but not others, a mix of what I'm used to seeing and free at the same time. Sometimes I feel that people just don't care... Others I feel different. I suppose that's why I appreciate poetry =). |
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Re: All I can see
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 12th December 2008 @ 06:30:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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well it's a pretty bleak message, but a valid one. i liked the poem, it was packed with passion.
-phil |
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