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Driftwood on an Endless Sea
Contributed by
true
on
Wednesday, 10th December 2008 @ 12:52:24 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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God, how I hate myself
I don’t know if anyone other than you, God
Know just how much.
I long for words of praise
They are like driftwood
Helping me stay afloat
Above the raging sea of my self-loathing
But they rot beneath my hands
Praise turns into empty compliments
Lacking truth or sincerity
At the end of the day
The mirror stares back at me
And I see nothing worthy
I see laziness and selfishness
A shell lacking any true warmth
I see imperfection and flaws
The pimples on my face
And cellulite on my legs
I see the C on my last paper
I see the cold-heartedness I truly feel
Beneath the mask I put on for everyone
And I know that all I really feel
Is sheer repugnance
I don’t know if I can truly love
How can one feel love when detestation consumes their soul?
Where others might see beauty
I see only the beast which lies within
The ravaging monster consuming me from the inside out
Sometimes the hatred flees
And I am left only with empty sorrow
Sadness replaces hate
But it’s really the same in the end
The same weight crushing my soul
But I am not the type to end it
There is some steel within me
That will not break
Perhaps it is God
Holding me up beneath this weight I cannot bear
The trial of my soul, some cruel test
He does not calm the sea
Only sends driftwood
And I am left to float on as best I can
Copyright ©
true
... [
2008-12-10 00:52:24] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Driftwood on an Endless Sea
(User Rating: 1 ) by razorbladekisses on
Wednesday, 10th December 2008 @ 01:20:23 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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That's good to hear you aren't going to commit suicide or anything of the sort. It really is.
This poem is wonderful. Although sad, it also gives hope. You're struggling, but able to keep yourself standing.
The sea, your struggles. The driftwood, its what keeps you up. Keeps you floating.
Life is hard. We all just have to do our best to stay afloat on this sea.
This was put together very nicely.
I hope everything is well. Keep your chin up.
Love,
Jesi |
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Re: Driftwood on an Endless Sea
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Wednesday, 10th December 2008 @ 01:29:52 AM AEST (User
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I'm happy you cleared this write up.
Really good writing.
It's thought prevoking to say the least.
Keep up the great writing.
Huggs, blessings,
emy |
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Re: Driftwood on an Endless Sea
(User Rating: 1 ) by gmcse8 on
Wednesday, 10th December 2008 @ 07:26:04 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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There was much to like in this poem. Some of the imagery was very good. I really liked the 4th, 5th, and 6th lines, they elicited a picture in my mind as I read them. Also for some reason the last line of the poem really stuck with me; i read that line several times. My ward tells me that the best poetry comes from angst, it looks as if she may be right. Write more, I look forward to reading more of your prose. |
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Re: Driftwood on an Endless Sea
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 10th December 2008 @ 08:38:08 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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is this poem sad? yes. but is this poem unbelievably good? yes! the metaphor you use is fantastic at describing the feelings in your heart. i felt like this years ago, when i thought god was all that was keeping me afloat in my lake of depression. then god let me down and now i support myself, and its 10 times harder. but that's what you get when you are a human being, monkeys don't suffer depression but we do. such is the injustice of life,
chin up,
-phil |
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Re: Driftwood on an Endless Sea
(User Rating: 1 ) by doug on
Wednesday, 10th December 2008 @ 03:40:06 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Hey , it's good to read new work from you. This is really excellent. I think this works so well because you've hit on a subject that affects many people. Being that I am closer to you than the others who've commented here has made this poem hit me in a different way though than I think it did them. I don't know how close this is to your actual feelings but it's to close to the way I feel a lot. I hoped that you would never have to feel the way I do sometimes. You should know by now though that ( though I'm certainly no God...well maybe in my cooler dreams..lol ) I will send more than decaying driftwood. I'll be you're boat when you feel lost on the sea.... but you still have to paddle. lol. Really excellent work. Yours truly , D |
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