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my dream
Contributed by
falconplayer05
on
Friday, 5th December 2008 @ 11:24:58 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
My mind is a pool of pain. the bad memories come down like rain. it forms a vast sea of deceit. is happiness just a cover for a book called sorrow? the pages drenched in hate? the chapters of my life sewn in a web of strife the ending all played out! is happiness something we put on to keep us warm from the chilling sadness that creeps out from the storms of hate? Or is happiness a feeling we get when we are stripped of the hate that comes before us each and every day. or is happiness the eye of the storm we call sorrow only meant to give us false hope that the storm is over or is it just an illusion to keep us moving forward in a world of pain and hate. happiness is for you to explain.
Copyright ©
falconplayer05
... [
2008-12-05 23:24:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: my dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by poeticparadisek on
Saturday, 6th December 2008 @ 12:05:18 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| this poem doesn't need structure or need to be "thought" thru, even tho it was off the top of your head, its great. I like that even though you are asking rhetorical questions, your answering them in an indirect way. The poem flows very nicely and its clear your frustrated. I'm only confused because the poem has a dark and cynical touch to it from beginning to end but were your intentions to give hope to the meaning of happiness or to give up on trying to explain happiness in the last line? Either way, its great stuff. =) |
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Re: my dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by falconplayer05 on
Saturday, 6th December 2008 @ 03:16:53 PM AEST
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| i left it open for the reader to say what happiness is and thank you very much i was a little scared to put my stuff out there thanks for the comment!!! |
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Re: my dream
(User Rating: 1 )
by snoopington on
Sunday, 7th December 2008 @ 02:52:13 PM AEST
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think i know what you mean happiness is something different to everyone
great write love the flow........
all the best........
m............. |
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