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Restless Heart
Contributed by
navydocny
on
Saturday, 29th November 2008 @ 06:46:33 PM in AEST
Topic:
LoveRemembered
|
Solemn is thy soul and restless be thy heart
Once, what made thy breast swell with pride?
Splendor that, only of heaven, doth impart
Now the grave pain, of a once truelove denied
~*~
There are no thoughts but those of our majesty
Of a radiance given by our very own passion
Without such is a lifetime’s loss and travesty
This lustrous skin of joy will be turned ashen
~*~
As to stop the setting of the sun, I labor
Just as I can stop the ebbing of the tide
Visions of you, my heart pounds as a tabor
Holding where my true love doth bide
~*~
Thy heart remains restless as is mine
Perchance finding one other again in time
Copyright ©
navydocny
... [
2008-11-29 18:46:33]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Restless Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 29th November 2008 @ 07:09:31 PM AEST
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a Message)
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A very emotive work of art here Steve! Well written and solid in emotional structure. It begins with a subtle sadness and ends with hope. To me that is a very hard thing to do. It is hard to allow yourself to become vulnerable to the muse of "sadness" and then push it away for some hope. I have attempted it many times. I am not sure how sucessful I have been. My greatest problem has been the extreme use of both the initial emotion and the transition to hope.
Here you've been able to reserve yourself perfectly and yet remain vulnerably poetic. This is damn fine writing!
BRAVO!
SCM |
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Re: Restless Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 30th November 2008 @ 07:38:15 AM AEST
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Steve, I completely agree with Daniel. The opening of your sonnet
is sad, but the hope at the end gives us all the hope we need just to
carry on sometimes, you know? I love the couplet. It holds tremendous
power!
Never say die; never give up; hold on to that Angel of Hope. (She has
been a good friend to me). Beautiful writing my friend.
Hope all is well (as it can be, at least).
as always, thinking of you and hoping for al things good. :)
~ Breezy
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Re: Restless Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by snoopington on
Tuesday, 2nd December 2008 @ 08:53:04 AM AEST
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very sad and emotional i taught but really enjoyed it
thanks.
m........... |
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