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dazed
Contributed by
smilinjlo17
on
Thursday, 20th March 2003 @ 03:25:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
are you lost in your mind,
are you lost in your day.
do you see images that wont hide away.
Is it all but a joke that you think like me,
Can you see the crack falling beneath my tree.
Look in my mind, look in my day.
Do you see that im lost, this is all I can say.
Copyright ©
smilinjlo17
... [
2003-03-20 15:25:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: dazed
(User Rating: 1 )
by karoody on
Thursday, 20th March 2003 @ 03:28:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| though this is short, it is very thought-provoking. well done. keep it up. you're on the right track! welcome to ypdc, by the way. |
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Re: dazed
(User Rating: 1 )
by smilinjlo17 on
Thursday, 20th March 2003 @ 03:31:16 PM AEST
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thank you for ur comment. i do have about 8 more on this sight. if you'd like to read, look at my personal page on here.
thnx. lex |
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Re: dazed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lone_er on
Thursday, 20th March 2003 @ 04:32:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I like it smilinjo. A great start. Keep on writing |
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Re: dazed
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Friday, 21st March 2003 @ 01:43:27 AM AEST
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| Perhaps you are dazed, and found a crack to fall from your tree, .. if you are already fallen, pick up your strength and stand up as a new tree. . venka |
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Re: dazed
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Friday, 21st March 2003 @ 02:37:35 AM AEST
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This is very good. You said alot in a small poem.
Remember the great Oak once started from a small seed!! Welcome to ypdc!!
Michelle |
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Re: dazed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 21st March 2003 @ 06:42:26 AM AEST
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Great start. Poems don't have t be long. Sometimes the shorter ones get straight to the point and are better at conveying your feelings. I know of a poem by a published poet that is 3 words long!!
I look forward to reading more of your work!
sleepless_siren |
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