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Beneath Me
Contributed by
crow
on
Wednesday, 29th October 2008 @ 09:01:34 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
I was West once
with every direction to Me,
the horse beneath Me,
morning burnt My face with chill
It builds no fire now,
but churns My stomach and regret.
The trees do not sing to Me as strong
I pass frail, new ears rejoice
in their voice, and give notice to them.
I lived deep in the forest
where river bottoms cleansed My body
and eased the heat, time has taken
Me from its edge.
Brick and mortar have encased Me
and tombed.
I must go deeper still.
Not laid in the sweet-grass where My beginning should end.
But here where nothing is open
and warmed by the Sun...and the scents of freedom. Vincent
Copyright ©
crow
... [
2008-10-29 09:01:34]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Beneath Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by navydocny on
Wednesday, 29th October 2008 @ 10:31:10 AM AEST
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a Message)
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As always...
You've weaved a beautiful tapestry.....
Humbly,
Steve |
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Re: Beneath Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 29th October 2008 @ 04:24:59 PM AEST
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Quite a metaphor!
I sense such a depth in this piece. I know that I cannot fathom it all. |
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Re: Beneath Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Wednesday, 29th October 2008 @ 09:12:37 PM AEST
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I'm with Jecks on this one....
Jenni |
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Re: Beneath Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 29th October 2008 @ 11:23:29 PM AEST
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My dear Lane, that last bit is just so ALL and EVERYTHING, you know?
"and the scents of freedom"
the scent of Freedom. Damn! That is just one of the most poetic lines I've read in
a very long while! I'm so glad I dropped by here tonight. Your title gave me an
entirely different vision of the words that were to follow. There is an aging inside
this that many fail to notice, given the everyday of things. But within your words
you've embedded a portal to the 'knowing'. Exceptional writing, my friend.
I think this is one my favourites by you. Truly remarkable work!!
~ Breezy
(did you get a hold of Alison yet? lol)
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Re: Beneath Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by karoody on
Friday, 31st October 2008 @ 06:02:43 AM AEST
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Lane~
good to see you writing something up here. this is a beautiful peice. left me with a feeling of sadness though.
love and smiles
kara |
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Re: Beneath Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 12th June 2016 @ 09:09:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Yeah the wine withers away into the breeze and is no sweeter than that remembered. Hope you are doing well crow. |
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