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If I Died..
Contributed by
count23
on
Tuesday, 9th September 2008 @ 10:59:15 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Well If I died, I died inside
Would you realize, and start to cry
If I held your hand, in this time of grief
In blackness I'd call for weeks and weeks
I'd cipher through your twists and turns
To find a truth in dug up bones
Your closet closed in time for me
Kept me from breaking free
I hope I see you one day real soon
So I can show the scars you've caused...
Oh how this world was ours..
Copyright ©
count23
... [
2008-09-09 10:59:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: If I Died..
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th September 2008 @ 11:10:02 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I almost ignored this write. The comment you made on your poem reminded me of those silly atheist statements comparing God to Santa Claus. It wouldn't have been poetry if that was what you meant because first it's cliche, second it's just plain ignorant.
Anyway, this was an oustanding work. The revelation of truth in a broken relationship is sometimes the hardest pill to swallow. Losing faith in an individual you care about is among the darkest paths one can venture down. You not only capture this with an amazing poetic flare. You scream emotion and your word choices are by far more than solid. This is quality poetry. Your talent screams in this work of harsh emotion.
Best wishes for you in your future relationships.
BRAVO!
SCM |
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Re: If I Died..
(User Rating: 1 )
by redsleeve on
Tuesday, 9th September 2008 @ 01:02:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i can't begin to tell you how much i can relate to this poem.
thank you. great post
d |
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Re: If I Died..
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th September 2008 @ 09:20:49 PM AEST
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There are some extremely fascinating lines in this that, when
placed together, create a powerful piece. We all long for answers,
for peace from our past ... closure of sorts. And we are desperate
for those who've hurt us to not only KNOW what they did, but take
responsibility for it as well. I have recently become aware of
my OWN necessity in that regard.
There is a melancholy that floats around this poem and stirs
the emotional air. Bravo for finding that. Great post!
~ Breezy
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