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Fool
Contributed by
redsleeve
on
Tuesday, 9th September 2008 @ 04:40:22 AM in AEST
Topic:
ApologyPoetry
|
never do i want to make you cry
i love you more than my own life
one of the few to help you through
tonight i'm the one who's hurting you
i'm the one who always waits
with no reward my time is waist
i'm always the one to lose the fight
for you decide whats wrong and right
but not tonight.
oh no, not tonight
tonight i'm blowing off the hinge
i cannot hold, patience warn too thin
gates are open, here comes the flood
pouring words with my loosest tongue
all that was bottled, exploding from the gun
its my turn, i'm screaming what you've done
immediately regretting blowing up
you start to cry, i don't feel tough
no matter what you say or do
its never worth me hurting you
waisting time and loosing cool
i'm the one that plays the fool
Copyright ©
redsleeve
... [
2008-09-09 04:40:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Fool
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Tuesday, 9th September 2008 @ 07:22:56 AM AEST
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nicely done.
wiz |
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Re: Fool
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th September 2008 @ 10:54:15 AM AEST
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It is going to be hard to follow such a well worded comment like the one above but I will try.
I am becoming a fan of your work. You have an exceptional talent. I believe there are more than a few masterpieces in you. The way you express yourself is precisely poetic and in this case you've done it well with perfectly chosen simplistic wording. You didn't reach over the top to express something that we all can relate to. That in itself is masterful. Your flow was well accomplished and you thought process kept the poem was rambling or evading. This was quite simply the perfect example of a well crafted poem. With this alone I see that you will be a name that all of us will be lookign forward to in days to come.
BRAVO! Keep Writing!
SCM |
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Re: Fool
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th September 2008 @ 11:24:13 AM AEST
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I think many can relate to this experience. It's
always hurtful when you release your anger
and frustration on someone else, only to see
that you've hurt them, rather than made
yourself feel better. The fact that you can
care so deeply after you've made someone
hurt is something that can help to redeem
you and help you to be quickly forgiven.
Good job with the write, very emotive.
~Jesse |
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Re: Fool
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th September 2008 @ 04:02:46 PM AEST
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We do not know what is wrong with saying something positive even if it is short. So in honour of both your work and of the unprovoked attack on our friend wizard.
nicely done
May you be haunted by the face of an angry scarecrow.
The Ghost Alarms |
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