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Hollow Heart
Contributed by
Taizy_May520
on
Tuesday, 9th September 2008 @ 03:52:03 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Why do I feel the way I do inside?
I fear my heart may be breaking.
It feels like a piece of me has died,
So my last wish is what I'm making.
I'm still fully alive and well,
although, I may not feel like it.
I'm so alone trapped in this hell,
it's now time for me to forfiet.
Giving up has never been my thing
and trying to let go is even worse.
Maybe if I didn't have a broken wing
this wouldn't feel like such a curse.
I don't know where we went wrong,
I'd give anything just to call you mine.
We didn't even get to have a song;
I so wish I could turn back time.
I want to be the only girl you run to,
the only one you can't live without.
I want to wake up every morning with you
and to love you without a single doubt.
Copyright ©
Taizy_May520
... [
2008-09-09 03:52:03]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Hollow Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by redsleeve on
Tuesday, 9th September 2008 @ 04:50:36 AM AEST
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a Message)
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nice post.
there never seems to be enough time when it comes to someone you care about. i can really relate to this write. |
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Re: Hollow Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Tuesday, 9th September 2008 @ 06:12:50 AM AEST
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very sad, nicely done,
wiz |
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Re: Hollow Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th September 2008 @ 10:59:07 AM AEST
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This is nicely done, very sad.
But I actually read the poem. First of all the second stanza is great. The emotional impact this had is leveling. What I found specifically good about this poem was that this is a deep expression of emotion without language to go over the reader's head. Some would call your wording simple (and it is) but in some cases especially when trying to convey a thought that the average reader can relate to simplistic wording works wonders and used properly can be astounding.
This work is marvelous and yes it is sad but the poetry of the emotion is well done. Love the flow as well.
BRAVO
SCM |
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Re: Hollow Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Tuesday, 9th September 2008 @ 12:07:24 PM AEST
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Deep and painful write.. I'm sure most people can identify at some point in their life..
Jenni |
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Re: Hollow Heart
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 9th September 2008 @ 10:01:24 PM AEST
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When heartache is the ruler, there is little else we can think on, no?
Letting go is one of the hardest things we, as humans can accomplish.
We draw our pain close to us, because it is easier than the unfamiliar;
the unknown. You have exacted this torment very well in this piece.
Well done.
Keep writing ~
~ Breezy |
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