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Creature From My Nightmare.
Contributed by
miseria
on
Saturday, 6th September 2008 @ 04:54:49 AM in AEST
Topic:
insomniac
|
..Máni..
Hello there, Creature From My Nightmare.
Are you here to join me in this night of tranquillity?
You are truly welcome, Creature From My Nightmare.
..Tyr..
I see you here once again, Creature From My Nightmare.
Have you come to witness this night of unconsciousness?
You are truly welcome, Creature From My Nightmare.
..Woden..
Tonight I expect your arrival, Creature From My Nightmare.
Will you come to neglect my fears on this uneventful night?
You are truly welcome, Creature From My Nightmare.
..Thor..
I have wished for your arrival, Creature From My Nightmare.
Will you come tonight, to silence my thoughts of solitude?
You are truly welcome, Creature From My Nightmare.
..Freyja..
I no longer await your arrival, Creature From My Nightmare.
You never came to darken my eyes, in this sickening morning glow.
You are no longer welcome, Creature From My Nightmare.
Copyright ©
miseria
... [
2008-09-06 04:54:49]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Creature From My Nightmare.
(User Rating: 1 )
by spooky on
Saturday, 6th September 2008 @ 07:51:24 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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i fear nothing,,,at darkness,,nor day light,,
only one do i fear,,well written ,,
a friend in words,,,spooky |
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Re: Creature From My Nightmare.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 6th September 2008 @ 04:02:36 PM AEST
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a Message)
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For some reason the phrase "Creature From My Nightmare" stood out to me in this one.
Okay, so this is me doing exactly what I said I would never do to another poet....
This had a ton of potential. It's creative and formatted with an original flare. I can't believe I am saying this to someone. The repetition would have worked if it weren't repeated with only one line separating it.
I know it's your poem and I am sorry that I am suggesting that you change something about your poem. I really am. I hate doing this. I have never done this. I deeply apologize but I wrote something once with the same annoying repetition in almost the same way. Looking at it now this was a disastrous attempt. Your poem would've been ten times more powerful had you not repeated that phrase with such little buffer.
I am sorry just my opinion and perhaps I shouldn't have given it but I am not practicing a lot of discretion these days.
Keep Writing!
SCM |
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Re: Creature From My Nightmare.
(User Rating: 1 )
by maggot on
Monday, 8th September 2008 @ 02:10:13 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| hey good write. loved the phrase creature from my nightmare |
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