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over oceans i've traveled
Contributed by
ladyfawn
on
Friday, 5th September 2008 @ 02:44:06 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
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~*~
over oceans i've traveled
splashed into life
come up for breath once more
~*~
almost drowned in darkness
crested in the peaks
bled in the valleys
~*~
soared in the sparkling
skies above corral
let myself believe
~*~
even when my feet were
made of clay
still i dreamed again
~*~
in this life many
things have i been, many
more have i seen
~*~
azure water and skies
as well my life
every known colour of blue
~*~
two pearls i have found
one white. one black.
carried all my life
~*~
never mounted properly
lusterous beauty
oysters died in vain
~*~
§* *§
*|*
Copyright ©
ladyfawn
... [
2008-09-05 02:44:06] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: over oceans i've traveled
(User Rating: 1 ) by FRANCO on
Friday, 5th September 2008 @ 02:59:27 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wonderfully written specially the last verse caught my attention:
"Never mounted properly
lusterous beauty
oysters died in vain."
very meaningful line. skillfully penned my friend,
Thanks for sharing,
With love and respect,
FRANCO. |
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Re: over oceans i've traveled
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jenni_K on
Friday, 5th September 2008 @ 07:04:32 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Beautiful write. my friend...the last verse caught me also... It reminded me of a poem my sister, Nics wrote a long time ago...
Great to see you writing again.....
Hugs
Jenni |
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Re: over oceans i've traveled
(User Rating: 1 ) by spooky on
Friday, 5th September 2008 @ 07:21:56 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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beautifully written my friend ,,,
a friend in words,,spooky |
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Re: over oceans i've traveled
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Friday, 5th September 2008 @ 08:39:15 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Awesome write, girlfriend.
keep it up and I too am happy to see you posting again. This site would never be the same without you.
thank you for being my long time friend.
Luv, huggs, prayer, peace,
emy |
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Re: over oceans i've traveled
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Friday, 5th September 2008 @ 10:24:08 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Oh Sweetie, how terribly sad! The pain I feel from this write
is just devastating. And the hopelessness in the last stanza is
excruciating. Damn. You write with such emotion and power that
your reader is helpless to be spared. The metaphor here is completely
brilliant! Magnificent work, hun. Better things to better days
are coming ... (don't they always?)
much happy thoughts to you ~
*hugs*
~ Breezy
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Re: over oceans i've traveled
(User Rating: 1 ) by Crow on
Friday, 5th September 2008 @ 10:31:39 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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keep faith Nessa, seasons in us change..
good write my friend. Lane
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Re: over oceans i've traveled
(User Rating: 1 ) by NoSaint on
Saturday, 6th September 2008 @ 04:57:47 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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strong emotions penned with grace...the last stanza is hauntingly beautiful
Shari |
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Re: over oceans i've traveled
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 8th September 2008 @ 07:13:30 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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even when my feet were made of clay still i
dreamed again . . . what a wonderous line,
this is so compelling, a peice of poetic beauty
that captures ones heart in the breath of a
moment . . .
((((Nessa))))
ty like wise 4 your read . . .
Ben
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Re: over oceans i've traveled
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 8th September 2008 @ 12:58:04 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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You know...well, of course you don't because I haven't typed this yet but I read this the other day and came back to read it again today. I saw that I didn't leave a comment, so this time I'm going to make sure I hit that ol' OK button! :-)
I love the way metaphor seems to come soooo natural with you. You're very very good at that.
And...I can so relate to this:
even when my feet were
made of clay
still i dreamed again
That was me the pass two years. Definitely my favorite line.
Anyways, very impressive write, indeed.
Thank you,
Tim
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Re: over oceans i've traveled
(User Rating: 1 ) by karoody on
Wednesday, 10th September 2008 @ 02:51:33 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Yes, you draw sadness for us here. But you also show us the grace of your soul. You keep going. You don't give in. You may think things to be in vain, but have you thrown the towel? No! (Thank the lord for that.) |
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Re: over oceans i've traveled
(User Rating: 1 ) by Eternal_Dreamer on
Thursday, 25th September 2008 @ 08:33:59 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Dearest Nessa~
This is so sad. Through your lines
the reader can feel your pain *hugs
you tight*
Your writings are brilliant and you never
cease to amaze me my dear poetess.
Always believe that behind every dark
cloud there is a silver lining. Wishing
you much brighter days my dear friend.
A hauntingly beautiful write.
love & hugs,
dreamer |
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Re: over oceans i've traveled
(User Rating: 1 ) by nobodyJQ on
Monday, 10th May 2010 @ 05:16:09 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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WOW... great poem, great structuring of words, that last verse is a killer
respects Ness. |
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Re: over oceans i've traveled
(User Rating: 1 ) by hauntedscorp on
Tuesday, 13th May 2014 @ 10:33:54 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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This is beautifully penned, my friend. Told with a certain sorrow, with the ending being the climax. It also screamed of wisdom, of lessons learned, and determination to keep pushing forward.
Excellent.
~Scorp |
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Re: over oceans i've traveled
(User Rating: 1 ) by colinb on
Saturday, 5th July 2014 @ 03:17:27 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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beautiful write Nessa |
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Re: over oceans i've traveled
(User Rating: 1 ) by colinb on
Saturday, 5th July 2014 @ 03:17:32 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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beautiful write Nessa |
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