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The gift is gone.
Contributed by
LauraMary
on
Tuesday, 2nd September 2008 @ 01:23:53 PM in AEST
Topic:
secrets
|
Ive picked it
Nice
and
Gently.
It's beautiful,
and sweet.
I've kept it with me
Always.
Embraced it's
living
beat.
To give
it all
so
easily
Who knew
that I could
Do it.
And he won't
EVER
give it back.
He's swallowed
every bit.
Maybe
it never happened.
Maybe
my gift
is mine!
He just..
broke
it all apart.
For me to
Reintwine.
Or maybe
I'm just dreaming
Or maybe
I'm afraid
Of everyones
reaction
If they knew
the mess
I made.
Copyright ©
LauraMary
... [
2008-09-02 13:23:53]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The gift is gone.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 2nd September 2008 @ 01:37:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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There is such a feeling of regret in this
poem, but it is so beautifully done. And I'm
sure so many could relate. Great job LM.
~Jesse |
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Re: The gift is gone.
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Tuesday, 2nd September 2008 @ 01:40:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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i agree with jesse,
i liked it a lot, not so sure about the format though, it seems a little confused... just my opinion,
nice job,
wiz |
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Re: The gift is gone.
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Tuesday, 2nd September 2008 @ 02:06:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
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We all at times feel we made a mess...... though I think we can be our own worst critics too it most times takes others to help stir the pot.
A lovely write, I felt it
Michelle |
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Re: The gift is gone.
(User Rating: 1 )
by navydocny on
Wednesday, 3rd September 2008 @ 03:42:51 AM AEST
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a Message)
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very nice....
we always worry about what others think...... |
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Re: The gift is gone.
(User Rating: 1 )
by eeeitak on
Wednesday, 3rd September 2008 @ 11:35:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
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this is great!
i love the rhyme scheme.
way to go, another excellent poem :D
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Re: The gift is gone.
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 4th September 2008 @ 06:07:03 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Or maybe i'm afraid Of everyones
reaction If they knew the mess
I made . . . This line just reach out
and left the rest of the poem in the
dust, as thought giving your heart
a little more room to reveal itself . . .
Verry compelling tittle as well . . .
Ben
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