Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com - Read, Rate, Comment on, or Submit Poetry. Browse Poetry Forums, or just enjoy other parts of our poetic community.
One of the largest databases of poetry on the net, now over 198,500+ poems!
Welcome to Your Poetry Dot Com    Poems On Site: 198,500+   Comments On Poems: 427,000+   Forum Posts: 105,000+
Custom Search
  Welcome ! Home  ·  FAQ  ·  Topics  ·  Web Links  ·  Your Account  ·  Submit Poetry  ·  Top 30  ·  OldSite Link 22-November 11:52:13 AEST  
  Menu
  Home
· Micks Shop
· Our eBay Store· Error Submit
 Poetry
· Submit Poetry
· Least Read Poems
· Topics
· Members Listing
· Old Site Post 2001
· Old Site Pre 2001
· Poetry Archive
· Public Domain Poetry
 Stories
· Stories (NEW ! )
· Submit Story
· Story Topics
· Stories Archive
· Story Search
  Community
· Our Poetry Forums
· Our Arcade
100's of Games !

  Site Help
· FAQ
· Feedback

  Members Areas
· Your Account
· Members Journals
· Premium Sign-Up
  Premium Section
· Special Section
· Premium Poems
· Premium Submit
· Premium Search
· Premium Top
· Premium Archive
· Premium Topics
 Fun & Games

· Jokes
· Bubble Puzzle
· ConnectN
· Cross Word
· Cross Word Easy
· Drag Puzzle
· Word Hunt
 Reference
· Dictionary
· Dictionary (Rhyming)
· Site Updates
· Content
· Special Content
 Search
· Search
· Web Links
· All Links
 Top
· Top 30
  Help This Site
· Donations
 Others
· Recipes
· Moderators
Our Other Sites
· Embroidery Design Store
· Your Jokes
· Special Urls
· JM Embroideries
· Public Domain Poetry and Stories
· Diamond Dotz
· Cooking Info and Recipes
· Quoof - Australian Story

  Social

Minor Instabilities

Contributed by Forgotten_soul on Sunday, 31st August 2008 @ 03:07:22 AM in AEST
Topic: psychoticpoems



I think I want to wake up

where I'm not so desensitized
to the hell we've created,

I want to wretch on the concrete
like I can't bare to look at myself anymore.
like I'm
too sick to swallow
my own demented intentions.

I want to feel naked
and exposed in my own home,
because I know it's a prison now.
I know every crack in every wall
is leaking my secrets.

I want to know I'm pathetic
and down to nothing

when I crawl on my belly
and still dream
of beautiful bones
and wax smiles.

I want to be just conscious enough
to choke
back the tears

and laugh at you,

just so we know where
I'm standing.




Copyright © Forgotten_soul ... [ 2008-08-31 03:07:22]
(Date/Time posted on site)





Advertisments:






Previous Posted Poem         | |         Next Posted Poem


 
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title etc.
Re: Minor Instabilities (User Rating: 1 )
by elle on Monday, 1st September 2008 @ 04:04:05 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
No doubt, powerful & directly to several points. Fascinatingly complete ending. I love. . . peace. elle


Re: Minor Instabilities (User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on Friday, 5th September 2008 @ 03:37:17 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)
Now sir this is more like it. No, this is not exceptional by any means but you do obviously have talent and if you actually do the things metaphorically to your spirit and heart that you speak of in this poem you will find your own personal poetic greatness. You got to dig for more then what is already been said. I see you digging. You just have to dig deeper. When you hit the oil you will be flowing with amazing captivating poetry. You will express yourself with a clarity that helps you understand who YOU are and helps us respect the poet inside of you. Reach for the unwritten words inside, the words that don't exist. The flow of ghosts, the style that was never invented. You will never find these things. You will never be able to write them because they don't exist. But what you write along the journey of chasing poetic myths and ghosts is when poetry is beyond brilliant. It is when the poet dies to make way for the tape worm of words inside of him. Poetry in it's most amazing moment is a failure. A failure to get to the end of the trail. Yet it strives, lives, achieves, and is hailed because of it's journey. The poet will lose but he will never stop fighting, he will never stop asking, stop hoping, stop pushing. The poet is the fool. Every poet is a fool.

I agree I was quick to judge you as a poet though I still stand firm on my comments about the piece I did this on. You have not only a quill but a shovel. I see that you have talent and there are things in you untapped. You have to keep digging! You have to write so hard that you break into a cold sweat and your fingertips become callassed over.

You have this ability. You can either settle at what you've already written (yes I read your other works) or you can dig deeper. Honestly though you have the talent (the shovel) I think you may have peaked because you simply have no strength. (just my opinion)

I notice you have posted 60 poems and have commented on 40. How do you expect to comprehend poetic expression if you do not read it? How can you expect us to understand you if you don't take the time to attempt to understand us. As long as you are a self absorbed ranting poet of challenging word vomit this is the best you will ever write. You want to say something about my comments on you? You want to prove me wrong? You want to be a poet? DO YOU WANT TO BE A POET or DO YOU WANT TO BE A WHINING PAINSY?

A poet bleeds, weeps, tears, scars, and rips the scabs, he digs, he pleads, he f****, he fights, he embrasses, he takes, he begs without pride, he lives on his knees with his fists to the sky! IF YOU WANT TO BE A POET pull your pants up, shut up, quit whining and take this world on with word weaponry. Be the person behind some of these lines, rid the person behind all of them.

Shut up, read, and write and I will be looking at a poet. Right now I see verses without the fool. I see curses without a voice. I see a whimp without a set large enough to call himself a fool! Take your shovel and dig with the rest of us, or go sit in a meadow somewhere and cry about the butterflies and buttercups!

Keep writing!

SCM




While every care is taken to ensure the general sites content is family safe, our moderators cannot be in all places; all the time. Please report poetry and or comments that are in breach of our site rules HERE (Please include poem title or url). Parents also please ensure that you supervise your children well when they are on the internet; regardless of what a site says about being, or being considered, child-safe.

Poetry is much like a great photo, a single "moment in time" capturing many feelings and emotions. Yet, they are very alive; creating stirrings within the readers who form visual "pictures" of the expressed emotions within the Poem. ©

Opinions expressed in the poetry, comments, forums etc. on this site are not necessarily those of this site, its owners and/or operators; but of the individuals who post items to this site.
Frequently Asked Questions | | | Privacy Policy | | | Contact Webmaster

All submitted items are Copyright © to their submitter. All the rest Copyright © 2002-2050 by Your Poetry Dot Com

All logos and trademarks in this site are property of their respective owners.

Script Generation Time: 0.052 Seconds. - View our Site Map | .© your-poetry.com