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Rainbow Sky
Contributed by
zenith66
on
Thursday, 28th August 2008 @ 09:49:14 AM in AEST
Topic:
fantasy
|
Prismatic rings in lambent glow,
Arced in multi coloured line,
Bending tiers of vast design,
Spectrums limit overhead,
Inside a bow,
Blazing arch out climbs terrain
Tilting photons into streams,
Bowing out at cloudy seams,
Vaulting into tempest dawn,
And lucent rain,
Magic bands that cant be found,
Only dreams can serach the end,
In there mist we'll apprehend
Rainbows stratoshpheric climb,
Away from ground,
Blinding elemental rim,
Linking heavans gate to earth,
Conduit of spacial girth,
Whats beyond the rainless bows
Etheric limb,
Undulating human thought,
Turning every passer bye
Something marvellous in sky,
Take a moment and a breath
Before it dies,
Semi halo’s ultra flare,
Fighing just to stay alive,
Falling in concussive dive,
Plummeting away from life,
On windy stair,
Copyright ©
zenith66
... [
2008-08-28 09:49:14]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Rainbow Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Thursday, 28th August 2008 @ 11:49:09 AM AEST
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great post, the imagery is excellent...
wiz |
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Re: Rainbow Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by texasw97 on
Thursday, 28th August 2008 @ 08:16:26 PM AEST
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| I like this poem. I'm thinking about a rainbow now. Take care |
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Re: Rainbow Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 29th August 2008 @ 03:27:35 AM AEST
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I want to begin with a side note that holds no importance but may make you understand the impact this poem had on me.
I have been avoiding YPDC for a bit (as I seem to do every now and then). I was disgusted with the amount of garbage that gets posted on here and labeled poetry or art. Maybe this is a bit pretentious of me, but it was a nauseating experience for the last month or so that I was here. I am sure I do not have to tell you what horrible things I refer to when I say that many YPDC posters do not know how to write a line much less a poem. So this time I really almost considered not coming back. I had enough. The narcissism, the pretentiousness, the high school like drama, the internet acronyms in POETRY, the horrible misguided poets who couldn't write their way out of a left, the total and complete lack of interaction, the disappearance of some fine poets, and many other things. Breezy, however as she has many times before convinced me and inspired me to come back yet again. This time my enthusiasm was not at a high level at all. So what does this all have to do with your poem? Why would I dare spend a paragraph on your poem talking about my disgruntled feeling for this site and my own opinions? This may have seemed a bit rude and obnoxious of me but here is the point....
It is when I read poems like this that I am reminded while this site is riddled with horrible art and attitude, the best living poets that I know reside here. When I read something like this I am reminded that it is worth swimming through a million "I want to cut myself, I want to kill myself, my girlfriend is sharing a locker with my best friend Bob, unfashionable, unproven, unemotional, passionless pieces of poetic dung" in order to find a piece like this. Breezy is to me the most outstanding poet I have ever read. Yes I am partial but sometimes I get carried away and forget that there are some damn outstanding poets on this site. There are poets who write with a precision, inspiration, perception, and passion that cannot be found anywhere else. And then I remember that one of the reasons Breezy is so exceptional is because sometimes she is surrounded by exceptional talent. I realize that the reason I have become more satisfied with my poetry over the last two years is because of poets like Breezy, yourself, and some damn fine other poets who I will not mention from fear of leaving someone out. When the master poets on this site are alive and kicking this place is not dreary, it's a fine place to visit and a wonderful place to live.
So I guess what I am saying to you Zennith is thank you for making YPDC a home that no matter how many times I leave is still warm and cozy when I return.
That being said, and perhaps I should have sent that in a PM...
The beautiful description in this work is extraordinary. It is as if you pulled the rainbow down from the sky and wrapped it around us. As we look at the wonderful colors you deliver and enchant us with an innocent speech on how glorious this moment is. I for one, was captivated. I was in heaven. I was inside this rainbow and I did not want to leave.
EXCEPTIONAL!
SCM |
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Re: Rainbow Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 29th August 2008 @ 09:51:03 AM AEST
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(Boy that ScarecrowMan is long winded isn't he?? lol)
j/k
WOW!!! Holy hell, Z! I think you've outdone yourself, (again!). Oh my heavens!! There is such domain over
the emotion one feels at witnessing something as magnificent and miraculous as a rainbow! I mean, it's just
refracted light, right? But here, here in the middle of your words it is something SO much bigger! It is a
multitude of emotion; it is a magnanimous display of dancing colour; it is a full blown miracle!
There remains naught to want, but only to wander in wonder. And it is the most exquisitely beautiful journey
one could ever hope to take. Running through your poem is the thing that makes other poets dance and delight
in their OWN creations! Because THIS, this right here, is truly inspiring. OH GOD, Z!!! Be proud of this one!
~ Breezy
(I'm not sure I understand the commas and would have left them out myself, but I could be missing your meaning.
And may I just softly suggest proofreading more often for typos. It just makes it that much more enjoyable
for the reader!! :D EXCELLENT work, Z!!) |
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Re: Rainbow Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by eeeitak on
Tuesday, 2nd September 2008 @ 08:56:13 AM AEST
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this is undeniably, incredible.
you took one of the most beautiful things in nature
and managed to make it even more beautiful with your words.
great write :D !!
--Katie |
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Re: Rainbow Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Thursday, 4th September 2008 @ 01:42:34 PM AEST
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well woven words, a beautiful write,
hugs n' love nessa |
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Re: Rainbow Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 13th September 2008 @ 01:42:09 PM AEST
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What a maze we journeyed through many back doors to find other back doors that led to your back door. Yes, we are now in your house. We came through the back door. We forgot to take our shoes off, so never mind those bloody footprints or the empty cookie jar. You need to buy some milk. So, zenith, we now find ourselves amongst your work. We are sorry that it took so long, but we are overjoyed that we have finally arrived. As we sit in our robes at your kitchen table, we contemplate your thoughts on the rainbow. We are glad you are not home, for we have decided to do an experiment in your back yard. With the possibility of things exploding or catching fire, we are not certain you would enjoy watching this display. We pull out our pouches of rainbow dust and follow the directions which say, just add water. Unfortunately we forgot to read the warnings which state use one pouch at a time. We each used one pouch and that is many pouches, for we are many. So the ground shakes and out of the water comes a gigantic rainbow that lights up the entire sky and unfortunately covers all the houses in your neighbourhood. You were right. This is a beautiful display. Worthy of every amazing word you've chosen to describe it. Unfortunately we now look strange standing outside the bright beautiful rainbow wearing dark robes and white masks. We are scared and fear for our lives until somebody from behind a tree yells "There's a pot of gold at the end!" We then run as fast as we can to the end of the rainbow. At the end we do not find any gold, but a big dark black mask, which feels more like home to us. Still, it is not as beautiful or as alluring as the rainbow itself and the poem it inspired. This poem makes us feel all warm inside, which we do not like so we take dynamite, blow up your rainbow and return to your home to look up more of your amazing work.
May a giant red man, played by Tim Curry snatch the unicorn horn from your dresser drawer in order to kill all the rainbows. If you decide to fight him, may you not have the help of Tom Cruise, for he is stranger than even us.
- The Ghost Alarms
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Re: Rainbow Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Eternal_Dreamer on
Saturday, 27th September 2008 @ 02:33:53 PM AEST
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Through your magically woven words
I can almost touch the arcs of the rainbow~
One can close their eyes and visualize such a
picturesque sight. Thank you for taking my mind
on the most beautiful journey.
You are a very gifted writer. Thank you for sharing
your extraordinary write with us.
hugs hugs,
dreamer |
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Re: Rainbow Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Starchild7 on
Wednesday, 1st October 2008 @ 01:07:40 AM AEST
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I just love rainbows and reading this was just so magical it was really beautiful and very well written really enjoyed it, thank you.
Starchild |
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Re: Rainbow Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by outlawpoet on
Thursday, 23rd October 2008 @ 03:50:45 PM AEST
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| this is not a bad poem but in your efforts to creat a rhyme scheme you made this poem a hard read. its not very smoth. sometimes it is best understood if you stick to the basics so the reader can find more understanding in your work. |
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Re: Rainbow Sky
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dillybar on
Monday, 21st December 2009 @ 12:20:28 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I really liked this piece you've written. I personally love rainbows and fantasy poetry. Its very well written also.. |
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