|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
shadows fade
Contributed by
xmistyangel
on
Sunday, 24th August 2008 @ 05:24:21 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
just as my shadow fades in the dark as i walk towards the light. so dose my hope that tomorrow will be a better day.my heart tremble but does not beat.filled with sorrow,regret,for things i did not do.my heart sinks as i watch you fade,unable to help.confused and alone,sitting in the dark no longer aware of the things around me.come to me,wrap your angelic arms around me and hold me tight,let me feel safe and secure.i love you.you come to me.as i prayed joy happiness comfort.completeness.then suddenly snatched away like a thief taking a jewel.unfair to leave me wanting more for you.and the shadows fade again.
Copyright ©
xmistyangel
... [
2008-08-24 05:24:21]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: shadows fade
(User Rating: 1 )
by Wachumiri on
Sunday, 24th August 2008 @ 05:35:09 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
It is very good, I love the line about the heart only trembling, not beating. Very good.
But it'd be easier to read if it was one thought per line, but ok...
Well, take care my friend.
David |
|
|
Re: shadows fade
(User Rating: 1 )
by wizard on
Sunday, 24th August 2008 @ 09:35:20 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
i agree with wachumiri, there is some good writing here, but if it were broken into stanzas it would flow better,
wiz |
|
|
Re: shadows fade
(User Rating: 1 )
by navydocny on
Sunday, 24th August 2008 @ 10:49:30 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
What you feel overwhelms..
Its in your writing..
Harness that feeling..
Bridle it, and it will go where you want it to...
Good stuff! |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
