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What to Do?
Contributed by
wizard
on
Monday, 14th July 2008 @ 06:08:08 AM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
The blackboard in the schoolhouse bare,
Empty pages, yet children stare.
Teachers failing without a care;
Our future left in bleak despair.
Playgrounds sought yet none are found
Across the vacant trodden ground…
These children’s minds remain unwound;
Reality is so profound.
Walking home through snow or rain
To waste the afternoon again,
As mother sleeps in drunken pain ;
Again unable to abstain.
The parents so long out of reach…
Not a lesson they had to teach.
Sent astray spited children each
Disregarding their every breach.
Across the town a child cries
As down the hall her baby dies,
Without a mother’s caring eyes…
Father, nothing left to despise.
Without a simple sun to know
Nor midnight’s moon to lend its glow,
And children, not a seed to sow
Is it finally time to let go?
Copyright ©
wizard
... [
2008-07-14 06:08:08]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: What to Do?
(User Rating: 1 )
by PhantomVampyress on
Monday, 14th July 2008 @ 06:16:19 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I really liked the flow of this poem and its a powerful write.. Im not exactly sure what it was about but my impression was about children not being raised correctly.. but i could be wrong.. but i do enjoy this write and its powerful.. thanks for sharing
Vampyress Jenni |
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Re: What to Do?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 14th July 2008 @ 06:45:23 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
I. absolutely. LOVED. This.
thank you for sharing.
the last line... was definitely perfect.
especially with everything i'm dealing with at the moment; it fits.
then again, all the ending lines of your stanzas were amazing. summing it all up in one profound statement after another.
i like the aaaa bbbb rhyme scheme as well.
=] loved it.
- Bethani - |
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Re: What to Do?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nothingness on
Monday, 14th July 2008 @ 09:04:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Talk about a jaw dropper, that was amazing! wow, beautiful write it seemed so perfect so intense, I loevd the last stanza so pretty but so deep. One of my favorite writes be far, awesome job |
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Re: What to Do?
(User Rating: 1 )
by purplestary on
Tuesday, 15th July 2008 @ 09:24:58 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| wow. awsome write. i'm speachless..wow is it... |
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Re: What to Do?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Tuesday, 15th July 2008 @ 09:01:26 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Would have done just as well under life poetry or social/political commentary. Strong words and issues, and demanding of a response, if not answers.
Spike |
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Re: What to Do?
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 7th September 2008 @ 11:23:35 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Awesome write here. I have to believe there
is better in the world and that reality is not so
bleak. But I know that this is true too. You
tell the reality of so many. As for structure,
rhythm, rhyme scheme, all perfection...attained.
~Jesse |
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