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Walk Away (Revised)
Contributed by
LJ
on
Sunday, 16th March 2003 @ 09:20:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
The loudest thing I ever heard,
Was when you never said a word.
You turned your back and walked away
Assuming that I’d be okay
You had to know that I was scared
You never even really cared
I trusted you with all of me.
For my safety, I now flee
Captured in your icy stare
Hurt like this is very rare
I'll pick up the pieces of my core
And rebuild them in a quiet roar
Life has never given me slack,
So walk away and don’t look back
Copyright ©
LJ
... [
2003-03-16 21:20:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Walk Away (Revised)
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Sunday, 16th March 2003 @ 09:55:40 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| i have read them both and i like this one better because i think it relates to a broader audience here, your subtle changes give a stronger meaning, at least through my eyes, i think it's great btw:) |
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Re: Walk Away (Revised)
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Monday, 17th March 2003 @ 01:25:27 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wow that's amazing! Great job! Blessed be,
~ Moonlit Angel |
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Re: Walk Away (Revised)
(User Rating: 1 )
by DreamWeaver on
Monday, 17th March 2003 @ 02:52:22 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I found it really difficult to choose, so I'll just say a great write for both poems .. it's how you feel more comfortable with the end result that counts.. Jan |
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Re: Walk Away (Revised)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bizzy on
Tuesday, 22nd April 2003 @ 12:32:44 PM AEST
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a Message)
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LJ, this is really a good one. It packs alot of punch! I haven't read the other version yet.
Friend Bizzy |
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