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Cage
Contributed by
little_genna
on
Wednesday, 25th June 2008 @ 12:42:51 AM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
I sit inside my mind, watching this crazy show,
No, I am not some insane weirdo.
I have moments in my life when I think “what are you doing?”
“Stop this insecure babbling”
I strive to be happy or even content,
Yet there is always that inner comment.
It like’s to jump out at the most obscure time,
Normally leading me to me writing a rhyme.
It is already telling me this isn’t worth the words,
That spiral continues downwards.
Close your eyes now, change the page,
You should lock these words in a metal cage.
DP
Copyright ©
little_genna
... [
2008-06-25 00:42:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Cage
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 25th June 2008 @ 01:15:53 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| it is worth the words, you did a great job with this piece. it is an interesting piece, i've never read a poem describing the little nagging voice in our heads quite like this. i liked it. |
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Re: Cage
(User Rating: 1 )
by Miseria on
Wednesday, 25th June 2008 @ 01:33:37 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very good, I liked it alot. Even though I'm not a big fan of poems that rhyme, this one still got to me. Well done. |
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Re: Cage
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Wednesday, 25th June 2008 @ 07:51:25 AM AEST
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I agree,
You did a great job with this write, my friend.
dopn't listen to the negative thoughts. Tell them to go where the sun don't shine.
You're a good writer so be proud of that.
luv ya, huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: Cage
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 17th August 2008 @ 02:33:41 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I liked this, the ever present self struggle. Happiness and contentment, in my opinion (I think I used those exact two words in my most recent poem that you commented on, lol) are nothing to strive for, they are just a way of being. Don't be so hard on yourself! Well written by the way ;o).
~Jesse |
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