|
Menu
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
Power of your love
Contributed by
killer81849
on
Monday, 12th May 2008 @ 12:20:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
I saw you for the first time that day
when my heart felt pain and lost its way
found in a place
dark corners and empty holes, dreadful pain
till that day you grasped it tighty and put it away
held it so it felt no pain
Copyright ©
killer81849
... [
2008-05-12 12:20:20] (Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment. That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Power of your love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 12th May 2008 @ 12:22:29 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
i like it! i'm a bit confused on "found in a place" though. |
|
|
Re: Power of your love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Killer81849 on
Monday, 12th May 2008 @ 12:26:07 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
yeah thats the part i want to change "found in a place" what i am trying to say my heart is in that kind of place dark and alone
ty |
|
|
Re: Power of your love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Desideratum on
Monday, 12th May 2008 @ 12:39:11 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Needs punctuation.
Not "till" me, "tell me" |
|
|
Re: Power of your love
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Monday, 12th May 2008 @ 12:42:58 PM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I'd say that it's a nice start. Of course, I look forward to seeing it finished. I like it. |
|
|
|