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Reality bites
Contributed by
SilverRain
on
Thursday, 8th May 2008 @ 11:05:44 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
I dream...
I am floating on the surface of my own life
Watching it unfold
Observing it
I am an outsider looking in
Unaffected by emotions
Picking my life apart
bit by bit
Critical
Opening every draw
scratching to see what I can find
pulling out titbits
I long tried to hide
I open my eyes
Reality bites
Emotions flood back through my veins
Igniting the path on the way to my heart
As it hit
I fall…
Copyright ©
SilverRain
... [
2008-05-08 23:05:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Reality bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by xxILoveTheSilencexx on
Friday, 9th May 2008 @ 06:48:53 AM AEST
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a Message)
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wow short but it was able to be expressed in the shortness.
very good...
loved it |
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Re: Reality bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by Arijadna77 on
Friday, 9th May 2008 @ 06:38:52 PM AEST
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| Hey,SilverRain!Thank u for putting my attention on your poems:))I always liked short poems,with a strong point,like this one.I think its written in one blink :))) |
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Re: Reality bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by Roddy on
Saturday, 10th May 2008 @ 04:23:31 PM AEST
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I like those last few lines great ending. thanks for your comments to
Good Job |
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Re: Reality bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenith66 on
Sunday, 11th May 2008 @ 01:02:13 AM AEST
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Yes! this is very very well expressed, fanastic job, so very true, and nicely done,really felt that i was looking form the outside in!!!
thanks alot for your comments!! |
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Re: Reality bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadwriter on
Monday, 12th May 2008 @ 11:20:38 AM AEST
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Very powerful piece of writing. Although reality many times does stink, viewing it from outside gives you a different perspective on it. The only thing to remember is that you must be back in yourself to take control and change what you need to change. Great post.
Deadwriter
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Re: Reality bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by Muinanyere on
Tuesday, 20th May 2008 @ 07:43:49 AM AEST
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| I really loved this poem especially the last 6 lines, good write |
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Re: Reality bites
(User Rating: 1 )
by ingeniusidiot on
Wednesday, 21st May 2008 @ 04:13:37 AM AEST
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Short sweet and to the point...I particularly liked the ending....added closure to the piece...You did a good job I look forward to reading more of your work.
Thanks for the comment
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