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God is Dead
Contributed by
jantra
on
Friday, 18th April 2008 @ 12:06:04 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
I. Dawn
I am alone so often that I am startled by a human voice.
But I have a feeling something's watching just beyond the morning dawn
It is comforting to think the king's more powerful then the pawn
II. Noon
But my heart is hardened by the chill of a sudden afternoon frost,
a northern wind brought forth the unthinkable,
and my illusions of comfort were lost.
III. The Snowstorm
I went so far into the mountains that I lost my footprints in the snow.
Even if I could go back
there was nowhere left to go.
IV. Dusk
As I felt the thousand whispered voices of wasted seconds on my face,
I searched the approaching dusk for comfort, but all I saw was glaring red.
And I whispered to myself (of course) "god is dead".
Copyright ©
jantra
... [
2008-04-18 12:06:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: God is Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by a7x36 on
Friday, 18th April 2008 @ 05:51:49 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| eerily wonderful |
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Re: God is Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by Muhammadshanazar on
Friday, 18th April 2008 @ 05:53:34 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Sweet Jantra,
I don't have words to pay back you the gratitude for the kindness you showed commentingon my several poems. In fact you yourself is a great spirit. This poem is symbolic, life journey from dawn to dusk has been shown. Images are appealing, and indifference of the Supereme Power has been shown at the end. There is a minor mistake:
"more powerful then the pawn"
I think there is "than" instead of "then".
Good luck.
Muhammad Shanazar |
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Re: God is Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by ZiggyB on
Friday, 18th April 2008 @ 10:22:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Different...but sounded pretty good. |
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Re: God is Dead
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 19th April 2008 @ 10:48:18 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Loved the poem... it was great... but different |
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