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lies
Contributed by
surge_joebot
on
Monday, 14th April 2008 @ 11:32:08 AM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
I want to lift the blanket off of this lie.
I've been drowning in it for so long now,
suffocating in every fake conversation I ever had with you.
Everytime I looked away, every time I said I loved you,
everytime I sighed, lied, cried it chipped away another piece.
It broke me down.
It pulled me down.
It weared me down.
You made me your submissive little housewife.
Your little porcelen whore.
You'd undress me with your eyes and everytime you touch me I'd cry inside.
Rape. I'd think. I'd close my eyes. It hurt me inside. Deep inside.
For so many years being "yours". I became so ugly.
I couldn't look in the mirror.
I made myself sick.
I had to lift the blanket on this false life sooner or later.
Taking all the little pieces back as I go.
Copyright ©
surge_joebot
... [
2008-04-14 11:32:08]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: lies
(User Rating: 1 )
by ZiggyB on
Monday, 14th April 2008 @ 12:11:33 PM AEST
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This is sad and very painful.
That one person could make another person that they allegedly love feel this way, is unconscionable.
I do hope that you've made preparations to end this relationship. Prayers to you.
Good write.
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Re: lies
(User Rating: 1 )
by jantra on
Monday, 14th April 2008 @ 07:42:16 PM AEST
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| This was hard because there were things that i really loved about this piece. first of all i love the use of imagery to convey the pain you have gone through. however i felt your use of the line " i want to lift the blanket off this lie" was a bit out of place when you go on to center the poem around being his porcelein whore and feeling like the perfect little marriage was a lie. in my opinion it didnt really need this metaphorical image. |
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