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A Piece of Art
Contributed by
xoBrokenxo
on
Sunday, 13th April 2008 @ 02:26:33 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
I don’t even know how to start.
Staring at the blank page, I try to come up with a piece of art.
So many emotions running through me,
None of which you can see.
When it comes to you, I’m speechless.
But you don’t know that; when I want to, I can be a good actress.
Inside, I’m falling apart.
And it’s because you’ve broken my heart.
You’ve disappointed me over and over again.
I like things better then,
When I didn’t get butterflies every time I thought about you.
Although it’s pathetic, it’s so true.
With you, I think it’s better if I do not speak.
At least, not until I know what it is that I seek.
But I guess I do how where to start.
Because I’ve just created a piece of art.
Copyright ©
xoBrokenxo
... [
2008-04-13 14:26:33]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: A Piece of Art
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Sunday, 13th April 2008 @ 03:55:20 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Great writing.
welcome to our global family here at ypdc.
Smiles,
emy |
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Re: A Piece of Art
(User Rating: 1 )
by jantra on
Sunday, 13th April 2008 @ 07:30:46 PM AEST
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a Message)
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hello,
overall i liked this poem. i think a lot of people can relate to being frustrated and unable to communicate whats really in your heart and mind. however my only suggestion to you is to not focus so hard on rhyme, read the poem aloud to see how it flows and figure out if and when rhymes are really necessary. i felt in this particular piece the rhymes were at times a bit forced. also proofread because simple mistakes can affect what your trying to convey to the reader. for example lines like " but i guess i do how where to start" take readers out of the poem and what you are saying and make them pause for a minute to rephrase your typo. |
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