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IF
Contributed by
whome
on
Sunday, 6th April 2008 @ 01:03:28 AM in AEST
Topic:
LovePoetry
|
If I told you that I loved you, would you hold me in your arms
To hold me within them, to love and protect me from all hurt
Sheltering me from the darkess that I may fear in this world
Comforting me when I am worried or need it most
If I kissed your lips with all my love, would you return it
Would your lips eagerly seek mine with a deep yearning
Longing to be locked in a lover’s tender embrace eternally
To inflame my senses, my heart and my soul for evermore
If I whispered in your ear, would you listen and smile
To my words sincerely spoken, so tender, soft and loving
Would they fill your being with the happiness you desire
Or quench the yearnings that burn so deeply within you
If my heart beat in time with yours, would your soul sigh
Would your heart beat faster as your emotions rose higher
As my soul cried out silently to be fulfilled with our love
Lifted high to the sky above by the love that was within it
If I gazed into your eyes, would you let me see into your soul
See the embers smouldering there waiting to burst into flame
Will you allow my love to fan them till they overwhelm you
So that our fiery love can consume both of us for ever more
If you carried me in your arms, would your heart sing joyfully
Would you be willing to join me on your path through life
Letting me love thee as you so desire, with true happiness
To share your future life with me as I share mine with you
If I lay beside you, would you allow me to love you eternally
Both my heart and soul know so well what they desire most
Tis you my darling, the wonderful man of my heartfelt dreams
To love you is happiness, but to be loved by you is ecstasy
If I asked you to believe in me, could you do so for all time
Sharing our two lives together as all true lovers hope to do
Each of us giving to the other all that is in our heart and soul
No matter what thou may answer me, I will always love thee
Copyright ©
whome
... [
2008-04-06 01:03:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: IF
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ruby2sdy on
Sunday, 6th April 2008 @ 01:46:10 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| This is such a lovely poem, very honest, it portrays everything anyone wants from a relationship, thank you, 2sdy x |
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Re: IF
(User Rating: 1 )
by iodinelove on
Sunday, 6th April 2008 @ 02:02:19 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
very good.
if i might make a suggestion though, you should try to avoid using thy, thee, thou, and thine. More importantly, you should avoid using them with you, your, and you're.
if you're going for an archaic feel, use the old words only, and vice versa. If you want to play up modern and older writing, mix up the styles. For instance, check out Dante's work, or even Milton ( old Will Shakes is overrated), and mix that in with another, newer style...free form perhaps.
Also, check out Patti Smith, she's awesome (and if you haven't already, Sylvia Plath)
Oh yeah, when you use thine, the word after it has to begin with a vowel, or h as in hour. (I found this information hard to find years ago, perhaps it's more commonly known now)
I don't think Y applies, but I might be wrong.
Anyway, be well, keep writing, goodnight
always, abraham |
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Re: IF
(User Rating: 1 )
by diba_perfect on
Monday, 7th April 2008 @ 09:02:50 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| 2 good..seldom do u c poems of this calibre out here..keep up the very good work.. |
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