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Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	22-November 11:34:29 AEST

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I tried

Contributed by amundson048 on Friday, 22nd February 2008 @ 03:46:25 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

I did all I could to make it work
My feelings for you, Still they lurk

In so many ways I tried to change
Why it wasn't enough, Seems so strange

I tell myself to ignore the way I feel
I just wish the feelings weren't so real

Some times I feel the thoughts could kill me
The pain goes away when my mind is busy

I hate how they say, time heals all
When all time does, is put my stomach in a ball

The worst part is, your the one i want too see
When time away, is what I need to see more clearly

The burden you bare
Just isn't fair
All over some *****
Who didn't care....

Copyright © amundson048 ... [ 2008-02-22 15:46:25]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: I tried (User Rating: 1 )
by 5MinutePoet on Friday, 22nd February 2008 @ 04:03:57 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

, i always like to start off with a positive. And here it has to be the i of the word 'lurk'. Very enjoyable.

However there were some points, usually at the end of each stanza where it all seemed a bit forced and labourious. It also tailed off toward the end slightly.

But still love that lurking

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