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Doll
Contributed by
kiba
on
Thursday, 21st February 2008 @ 09:28:11 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
at the end thou didn´t love me
thou did all this for fun
thy charade
thy mockery
shalt burn me further that the sun
the icy mask thou wear around myself
leaves me crippled and fragile
as a ragged doll on a shelf
i am no longer agile
not a deer in the woods not a perky elf
because of thou my heart is shattered
i am
but a doll on a shelf
Copyright ©
kiba
... [
2008-02-21 09:28:11]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Doll
(User Rating: 1 )
by 5MinutePoet on
Thursday, 21st February 2008 @ 09:44:29 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Hi,
I like it. I didn't find it dark so much as fun though.
And i'm not sure how much of a mix you were going for with clashing styles....
..... But i think for me that it would have worked better with more attention to a consistant psuedo english approach.
But i enjoyed it all the same |
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Re: Doll
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 21st February 2008 @ 02:52:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Welcome to our global familly of poets here at ypdc.
good work.
huggs,
emy |
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Re: Doll
(User Rating: 1 )
by brownsugar8272 on
Thursday, 21st February 2008 @ 09:14:07 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| interesting write really admire your unique style . keep up the good work |
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Re: Doll
(User Rating: 1 )
by Saloni on
Friday, 22nd February 2008 @ 10:33:46 AM AEST
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a Message)
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i really like this poem !
good read! enjoyed it.. |
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