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My words…
Contributed by
SilverRain
on
Wednesday, 30th January 2008 @ 06:12:46 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Who are you to judge me?
Why do you care?
Do I threaten your whole existence?
Do I leave your soul bare?
I will challenge you every step of the way
Keep you on your toes
Cause Baby I do not take things lightly
And not just everything goes…
I will kick and scream to find my way
Use dirty tricks to make you see
Say hurtful things to get my point across
And pull you right down here with me
No shields left to protect my heart,
My mouth has taken its place
Words has more power to push you away
And force you back and give me space
When all I really want is for you to hold me
And tell me that all will be fine
And kiss me gently on my eyes
And tell me that you will always be mine…
Forgive me…
Copyright ©
SilverRain
... [
2008-01-30 18:12:46]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My words…
(User Rating: 1 )
by Poetic_Punk on
Wednesday, 30th January 2008 @ 09:29:48 PM AEST
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good poem, lots of anger in it, you got the emotions involved acrooss well, building up the angst right to the last parragraph when you all of a sudden turn and the realise what you have done and ask for forgiveness,
this is a great peice of writing and is well constructed, A+++++ |
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Re: My words…
(User Rating: 1 )
by tiggytom on
Thursday, 31st January 2008 @ 05:10:22 AM AEST
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I agree, I felt the anger in this poem as well as the remorse shown at the end, a beautiful piece.
Tom |
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Re: My words…
(User Rating: 1 )
by scroggins on
Friday, 1st February 2008 @ 03:31:07 AM AEST
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| rejection is one of the strongest schools. Minimize the pain through acceptance. your poem gets the pain across well. jp |
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Re: My words…
(User Rating: 1 )
by alibof10 on
Sunday, 23rd March 2008 @ 05:27:50 AM AEST
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| a masterpiece! man you're too good :) |
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Re: My words…
(User Rating: 1 )
by ZiggyB on
Monday, 7th April 2008 @ 04:29:16 AM AEST
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This is extremely powerful. As I read it, I thought it pointed anger at some sector of society, or the government. Only at the last stanza did I realize that you were hurt by a special someone thru some fault of your own, and that you sought forgiveness. Amazing poem. I'll advise some friends to read your works.
Thanks for sharing. |
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