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Insomnia
Contributed by
Contralogicus
on
Sunday, 9th March 2003 @ 09:00:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
|
Whatever helps you get some sleep,
Helps you put your mind at ease,
Yes, you've been thinking deep,
And you don't know whom to please.
You desperately want to be,
Gently floating in your bed,
Swimming in the subconscious sea,
But the night is halfway dead.
As the sun lovingly paints,
Its soft hues across the sky,
While the night-time quietly faints,
Sleeplessly you lie.
Copyright ©
Contralogicus
... [
2003-03-09 21:00:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Insomnia
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lubnaan on
Monday, 10th March 2003 @ 12:28:06 AM AEST
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good work !
not too forced or simplistic
not too obscure
a nice balance i think |
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Re: Insomnia
(User Rating: 1 )
by ap on
Monday, 10th March 2003 @ 04:01:52 AM AEST
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its an outside view of oneself... like a conversation with your soul... (does it listen contra...?
not as dark as i expected it to be... painted the scene with not the vivid shades of the day but neither the darker shades of the nights... its more like the shades of dusk... variation... balance... tranquility...
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Re: Insomnia
(User Rating: 1 )
by spaceotter on
Monday, 10th March 2003 @ 06:03:54 AM AEST
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| Nice work! I'm sure written during an insomniac attack! LOL |
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Re: Insomnia
(User Rating: 1 )
by tease_whizz on
Monday, 10th March 2003 @ 09:17:48 AM AEST
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| ah i know this feeling too well - i think a lot of poetic souls have trouble sleeping, we think far too deeply and sometimes forget to rest! great poem, can't wait to read more of your work, keep writing, Kate x |
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Re: Insomnia
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 10th March 2003 @ 11:20:16 AM AEST
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ahhh, this is super, love this,
"As the sun lovingly paints,
Its soft hues across the sky,"
welcome to ypdc, your writing
friend always nessa |
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Re: Insomnia
(User Rating: 1 )
by Contralogicus on
Monday, 10th March 2003 @ 11:27:33 AM AEST
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Great interpretation ap. Thanks for all the feedback.
It is, in a sense, a rivalry between my mind, body and, soul. For myself, the balance in it represents that one moment in time when all three stop their fighting and focus on the sunrise. |
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Re: Insomnia
(User Rating: 1 )
by Damien on
Monday, 10th March 2003 @ 06:53:15 PM AEST
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| That was very good, can't wait to read more of your stuff - Damien |
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Re: Insomnia
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 2nd June 2003 @ 10:31:55 PM AEST
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| I have to admit i agree with tease_whizz comment, this is a very well written poem, which i'm afraid i can relate to only too well... |
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