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Lost Peace of Mind
Contributed by
tiggytom
on
Thursday, 10th January 2008 @ 10:15:03 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
Just like the family man
You seem to try to do what you can
With what you've been given, the size of your hands
Yet still you will fail as you try to exhale
But breath in deeply you'll see a slight change
As you take in all the thoughts, all the hate and the shame
When you think of something you've created a note
This note wont be played to a tone we can hear
It will surface at some point it's position unclear
Every thought, every feeling has so much more meaning
We all share of each other in the great game of life
If you wish death on your brother, another one's dies tonight
If you wish luck on your sister, another sister wins the fight
Individual as we all our, out spoken in our ways
Not knowing what we all are, we really are all the same
The same mind we all share, the good and the bad
Discarding of those whom we feel are quiet bad
Leaves only scars on the tissue of our minds
If we look after the lost, take care of the blind
We will move so much further, as one, as mankind
For the blind may not see, but their senses are high
You all can see, but you can't see behind
The quieter the stillness, the greater the mind
The more peaceful the thinking, the more powerful we shine
So please if you will, be kind to yourself
Think nothing of hatred, leave your hate on the shelf
Just next to the bible which sits there alone
Ignore all the blindness that they have foresold
Take heed and start listening to stories foretold
We have not just been here since the mobile phone
We have been here existing living inside of stones
The stone started rolling and we all jumped on board
Trying to make it roll faster, the stone it grew old
Chipping at the surface we've moulded out of shape
So the stone it has slowed, allowing us no escape
The way for us all, is avoiding the fall
'cos we're halfway there, yet we're nowhere at all
My question to you, are you happy at all
Knowing that there is no future, we're all doomed to fall
Or do you believe there is much more to this
Are you aware of the innocent bliss
Which we all are capable, we all have the will
But it's slept for so long, where do we begin
We can all make a difference by the power of one
If we all think of peace and the universe as one
We then just maybe might be on course to the sun.
Copyright ©
tiggytom
... [
2008-01-10 22:15:03]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Lost Peace of Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by ki on
Friday, 11th January 2008 @ 12:10:18 AM AEST
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a Message)
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very nice job!
ki |
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Re: Lost Peace of Mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by SmokinJoeEvil on
Friday, 11th January 2008 @ 02:48:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
| It seemed to lack a definite and solid theme. Sometimes the ideas shifted gears even between lines of the same stanza. It also seems quite random whether you made a particular stanza 4, 5 or 6 lines long. It broke the flow up for me a lot. It seems to want to get across profound concepts, but the statements trying to be made are too many, and too varied to have been contained in one poem adequately. |
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