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Alone
Contributed by
MissTeenSuicide
on
Wednesday, 2nd January 2008 @ 11:40:33 PM in AEST
Topic:
SadPoetry
|
Alone always in darkness,
this feeling of despair,
everything is so lifeless,
too much pain to share.
Alone I stand in this open space,
the cold air on my flesh,
there is no happy ending in this case,
death would be the best.
Alone I suffer, alone I stand
the blade still in my shivering hand,
alone I weep, alone I bleed
Alone I die, no help to plead.
Alone no more now that I am freed.
Copyright ©
MissTeenSuicide
... [
2008-01-02 23:40:33]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by ki on
Thursday, 3rd January 2008 @ 01:27:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is good..i like the last line |
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Re: Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 3rd January 2008 @ 08:54:32 AM AEST
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| i like your style but i felt at times the rhymes were a little stilted and forced like "alone i die no help to plead." poetry doesnt always have to rhyme and i think in your case your writing might be stronger without it |
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Re: Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by little_genna on
Thursday, 3rd January 2008 @ 10:48:56 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I feel inclined to agree with Jantra, poems do not have to always rhyme to be considered a poem. Also agree that it could make your writing stronger. Sometimes if i feel like i have to force the rhyme i abandom it for that poem.........
onto the actual poem.. i really enjoyed how raw your emotion is and i also felt a lot of anger... i loved how you can spill your words onto the page......great job |
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Re: Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by mrpeanut64 on
Thursday, 3rd January 2008 @ 02:48:24 PM AEST
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| Been there, done that, bought the tee-shirt. Actually as troubles mount death sometimes seems such an easy way out, but keep looking there is always another way (sometimes hard) that's not so final. |
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