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Behind This Skin
Contributed by
law_glen18
on
Tuesday, 1st January 2008 @ 12:14:52 PM in AEST
Topic:
anguished
|
Behind this skin
A soul lays bare
A smile of sadness
Is always there
A determination slumbers
Hopelessness prevails
A airless prison
And all it entails
Inescapable, claustrophobic both
Never a chance to escape
Crying and screaming
Will she be free before it's to late
A life of hurt, a life of pain
That ends at night
By the morning
Starts again
Inside a Girl
Outside a man
Shunned by most
Unwelcome in my homeland
Transgendered is the word
To describe the prison
Suicide tried many times
My own stupid decision
I must go on
Not only for me
But for those who shunned
For i want them to see
They may see a man
Say faggot at best
But nothing burns like
A woman scorned at rest
I'll be successful
I'll make them see
Life may be hell
But i will always be ME
Copyright ©
law_glen18
... [
2008-01-01 12:14:52]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Behind This Skin
(User Rating: 1 )
by Harmony on
Tuesday, 1st January 2008 @ 01:00:49 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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I am an effeminate hetrosexual man I love the idea of being fantasy you could be fantasy too to be a devine creature beyond the meanies:)
Another thort at the time of writing :)
Maybe wrong
Tata:) |
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Re: Behind This Skin
(User Rating: 1 )
by Honey56 on
Tuesday, 1st January 2008 @ 01:19:30 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I truly hope you began to feel better..However I do enjoy reading your poems...
You have a great talent in writing so never give up on it..
God Bless!!!
Hope a bit of sunshine raindown on you!! |
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Re: Behind This Skin
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Tuesday, 1st January 2008 @ 04:42:54 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
interesting post. it had a good subject to tackle and you didnt conform to the usual behind this skin cliche poem that has been read by everyone else on here 20 plus times. this was a refreshing post. i thought you started off strongly with great rhymes and flow and then by the line "will she be free" it starts to lose the great flow it had. by the end you regained the flow, but it just irks me when something great trails off in a poem (even though it seems like concept over format was intended by you). i think some punctuation could really emphasize some of your points and add some power, just like you used the capitalized and bolded ME at the end. maybe one day youll live to see your homeland accept you, this world has been radically changing in many ways recently, but in other ways it is still back in the dark ages...so who knows.
keep up the great work though, i really liked reading this poem, and its not often that i can say that. |
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Re: Behind This Skin
(User Rating: 1 )
by ki on
Thursday, 3rd January 2008 @ 01:48:31 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| this is very very good..loved reading it!! |
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