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BROKEN

Contributed by MILLER_GENUINE_SWINE on Sunday, 30th December 2007 @ 03:14:15 PM in AEST
Topic: oops

FEEL SO EMPTY
..I FEEL ALL BAD
. I LOST THE BEST FRIEND .
.I EVER HAD
YOU'LL FIND ME BROKEN AND OUT OF SHAPE .
..I CAN'T GO ON I CAN'T ESCAPE
I'VE LOOKED TO DEATH ONE LAST TIME
MY EYES CLOSE
NEVER TO OPEN AGAIN

Copyright © MILLER_GENUINE_SWINE ... [ 2007-12-30 15:14:15]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: BROKEN (User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on Sunday, 30th December 2007 @ 04:48:27 PM AEST
(User Info | Send a Message)

the first time i read this, i thought it was crap, reading it two plus times after that i began to like the rawness in this. this sort of reminded me of ee *****s and how he used punctuation (or lack of it) for how the poem was supposed to be read, i liked that here. the later lines lose that though. the capital letters can be seen as yelling or just emphasizing the pain of losing your best friend. very simple poem, but the rawness adds a lot to this.

if this is about a real event in your life, im sorry for your loss. its always tough to lose people we care about (especially if its suddenly or by their own hand). but there are better ways to dealing with loss than what youve proposed.

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