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Welcome !	Home · FAQ · Topics · Web Links · Your Account · Submit Poetry · Top 30 · OldSite Link	22-November 10:51:36 AEST

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Murderd Wings

Contributed by fairyfirefly on Wednesday, 19th December 2007 @ 04:36:42 AM in AEST
Topic: SadPoetry

I'm looking out beyond the deadly wave where my heart is known to cave.Sent a message loud and clear you let me know where I should gently lay my tear.Pressed on I feel my day suddenly I want to fade away.Nothing is the better view don't you know I will miss you too. Thirst rises hunger aches how much more can my heart take.Murdered are my little wings that can not fly so I have no choice but to die.Rushed in my mind is sleep forever my heart and soul shall no longer weep together.

Copyright © fairyfirefly ... [ 2007-12-19 04:36:42]
(Date/Time posted on site)

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Re: Murderd Wings (User Rating: 1 )
by sicknivesevered on Wednesday, 19th December 2007 @ 06:20:06 AM AEST
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This isn't bad, but it'd be nice if you structured your poem. The first half is touching and the ending seems tacked on. It does what is intended, though. It is quite sad.

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